Dear firstborn son,
I want to take a moment to apologize for the countless hours I spent obsessing over your sleep schedule. In those early years, particularly the first three, I was often overwhelmed by the need for you to nap. I yelled, I vented, and yes, I even let you cry at times. Back then, it felt like sleep was the most critical thing in the world. But what you truly needed was a calm and loving mother—not a stressed-out version of me. I regret that deeply.
I also apologize for the amount of time you spent surrounded by grown-ups. As an only child myself, with your dad’s family living far away, there weren’t many cousins around. I hadn’t yet formed a solid network of mom friends, which meant you became the center of adult conversations. I sometimes wonder if that contributed to your serious demeanor. While responsible firstborns are essential for keeping the world balanced, I worry that I may have taken away some of the carefree joy of childhood.
I’m sorry for the bland baby food you endured. Even though I made it myself, you were stuck with a diet of unseasoned sweet potatoes, carrots, and peas for far too long. Meanwhile, your younger brother has developed a far more adventurous palate because he ate what we all did from the start. I sincerely hope that one day you’ll embrace a wider range of flavors and discover your inner foodie.
I apologize for dragging you to every baby class I could find, even before you could sit up. I was craving adult interaction, and you were my perfect excuse to get out.
I also regret the heavy-handed discipline we practiced during those early years. We were rookies—spanking, yelling, and using time-outs as if they were the solutions to every problem. We didn’t know how to choose our battles wisely, and unfortunately, you bore the brunt of that learning curve. I’m truly sorry for any stress this caused you.
You still carry a lot of the weight from those early lessons, and as we navigate homework, curfews, and college applications together, I know it’s not easy for you. I’ve relaxed my standards since then, but I still feel the pressure to make up for all the mistakes I made while parenting you as a firstborn. I owe you that much because you gave me the most precious gift: the title of “mom.” You are my first, and in many ways, my baby.
I realize that’s a lot for one child to shoulder, and for that, I sincerely apologize. Thank goodness you have siblings to share the load with.
With love,
Mom
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Summary
In this heartfelt apology, a mother expresses her regrets to her firstborn son about the pressures and mistakes made during his early years. She reflects on the lessons learned, the moments of stress, and acknowledges the profound impact of being a firstborn. Ultimately, she emphasizes the love and gratitude she feels for him, recognizing the unique challenges faced by first children.
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