Modern parenting can feel like a constant tug-of-war between instinct and restraint. When my child tumbles over, argues with a friend, or faces any kind of challenge, my knee-jerk reaction is to swoop in and fix it: lift him up, mediate the dispute, or rebuild whatever has been knocked down. Yet, as much as I’m aware of the pitfalls of being a helicopter parent, I have to remind myself that my goal isn’t to eliminate every hurdle in their lives—sometimes, those hurdles are essential for growth. Here are seven challenges I’ve decided to let my kids tackle on their own:
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Boredom
Boredom seems to have vanished from childhood, replaced by an overload of activities, homework, and endless entertainment options. However, boredom can actually spark creativity and new interests. So, when my child says, “Mom, I’m bored,” my new response? “Perfectly fine! Embrace it.” -
Frustration
I have a low tolerance for frustration, as does my partner, but we handle it in completely different ways. I tend to get angrier and keep pushing through my frustrations, while my partner takes a step back to cool off. This strategy has been a revelation for me. If my son gets upset because his Lego creation falls apart, I suggest he take a break and return when he’s calm. More often than not, he can solve the issue without losing his cool. -
Disliking Their Food
We follow a division of responsibilities when it comes to meals, meaning I sometimes serve dishes I enjoy—even if the kids don’t. If they turn their noses up at dinner, that’s okay; there’s typically something on the table they can eat. It’s essential for them to realize that even I have meals I’m not thrilled about! -
Facing Failure
As Jessica Lahey points out, a fear of failure can hold kids back from taking risks. Learning to cope with failure is crucial for developing problem-solving skills. If my kids are inching toward a wrong answer or building a tower that’s about to tumble, I let them learn from the experience. Failure is often the best teacher. -
Managing Money
I’m a huge advocate for teaching kids about financial responsibility. One effective strategy is to give them control over their own budgets, like for clothing. My child might spend all their money on a single pair of trendy sneakers, but that’s a lesson learned. Mistakes in a safe environment can lead to valuable life skills. -
Conflict with Friends
I often feel the urge to step in and mediate my kids’ disputes with friends. However, I believe that children need to navigate conflicts themselves to understand boundaries and develop their social skills. Just like celebrities’ kids may struggle without appropriate pushback, my children will benefit from resolving their own disagreements. -
Homework Struggles
I’ve been reading about the “homework wars” and how excessive assignments can encroach on family time and sleep. While I’m here to help if they’re stuck on a math problem or need a nudge with a book like The Catcher in the Rye, I won’t be hand-holding through hours of homework. Kids deserve downtime after a full day at school, and I prioritize their well-being over a perfect homework record.
While I may want to shield my kids from every bump in the road, it’s crucial for them to cultivate independence and face challenges head-on. After all, if they don’t learn to navigate life’s hurdles now, who will help them when they encounter bigger obstacles down the line? For further insights on parenting and self-insemination, check out our other blog posts like this one that dives deeper into these topics.
Summary
This article discusses seven challenges parents should allow their children to face independently, including boredom, frustration, meal preferences, failure, money management, conflicts with friends, and homework struggles. By stepping back, parents can help children develop vital life skills and resilience.