Pregnancy
How to Conceive Without Ever Having Intercourse
by Bella Thompson
Updated: Aug. 11, 2017
Originally Published: Aug. 8, 2015
Believe it or not, there are some amusingly unconventional ways to end up expecting without ever stepping foot in the bedroom. Studies have shown that simply thinking about your partner while doing mundane tasks can magically lead to pregnancy. I once heard about a woman who got a bit too excited while celebrating her child’s potty training and, after using her partner’s toothbrush, found herself welcoming baby number four nine months later. So, without further ado, here’s a quirky list of sure-fire methods to get pregnant without traditional intimacy:
- Whistle joyfully while donating every baby item you own to Goodwill.
- Express a complete lack of desire for more children, sharing this revelation with everyone from the cashier to your hairdresser.
- Book your partner a vasectomy appointment as a preemptive measure.
- Become irritated by crying babies on flights, now that you feel so far beyond that phase.
- Get a tattoo of your kids’ names, leaving no space for any future additions.
- Smirk smugly as you stroll past the diaper aisle, feeling liberated.
- Fall in love with skiing, because why not?
- Achieve your pre-pregnancy weight after what seems like a decade of munching on celery.
- Buy a compact vehicle, declaring, “Goodbye carseats!”
- Host a Maternity Clothes Bonfire BBQ for friends.
- Sign a five-year gym contract that lacks childcare facilities.
- Boast loudly about all the time you’ll have for yourself now that your youngest is in kindergarten.
- Enjoy uninterrupted nights of sleep.
- Set ambitious life goals.
- Pursue your dream of becoming a tightrope walker.
- Try horseback riding, because it’s thrilling!
- Take a sushi-making class for that culinary flair.
- Experiment with making raw and questionable cheeses.
- Win a wine-of-the-month subscription for an entire year.
- Invest in a hot tub for ultimate relaxation.
- Plan and put down money for your dream vacation scheduled for exactly nine months from now.
- And lastly, cackle with glee alongside your partner when you learn a friend is unexpectedly expecting.
Be cautious, ladies! One of these whimsical actions could lead to a surprise for you. For more insights on at-home options, check out this helpful resource regarding pregnancy and home insemination, or explore this guide for more information. If you’re curious about self insemination, Make A Mom is an excellent authority on the topic.
In summary, whether you’re embarking on a new journey of parenthood or simply enjoying the freedom of your current life stage, laughter and creativity can lead to unexpected outcomes!