- Your birthing plan made the actual delivery look like a casual get-together.
- You visit friends and can’t help but reorganize their kitchen drawers while they’re occupied.
- Even Al Gore reaches out to you for advice on sustainable meal planning.
- If faced with a choice between a hook or an artificial hand, you’d go for a label maker, no contest!
- While some women enjoy crafting or knitting, your hobby is laminating everything in sight.
- You’ve memorized every red light’s duration in your city, and you can’t understand why Google Maps hasn’t included that feature. Don’t they want to save 23 seconds on the school run?
- While other moms choose purses with sections, your wallet has its own wallet. Your bag-within-a-bag system is so elaborate that it culminates in a miniature Ziploc bag housing a single Altoid.
- You adore mother-daughter trips to Staples, but often sneak away alone because some spiritual journeys need solitary reflection.
- Hannibal had less gear when crossing the Alps than you do for a weekend at the beach.
- You have strict travel rules: never leave the house with food in the fridge, but throwing away perfectly good items is a big no-no. This might lead to a dinner of zucchini and peanut butter the night before departure, but rules are rules. Your kids find it amusing how many hardboiled eggs you carry in your special egg Ziploc.
- Every man you’ve lived with has learned to keep the shower curtain in the exact position to avoid mildew, even if they don’t live with you anymore. Some women are remembered for their perfume; your exes think of you whenever they straighten a towel.
- One of your greatest joys is to “go through that”—whether it’s the linen closet, pencil holder, or garage. You love sorting and reorganizing. While others go to yoga retreats, you find your bliss at The Container Store.
- You don’t just have a junk drawer; it features dividers, one of which is labeled “misc.” That’s as close to chaos as you’ll ever allow!
- You’ve considered selling your beach packing list as a digital download on Etsy.
- An alphabetized spice rack? Child’s play. Yours is cross-referenced by purchase date and usage frequency. You’ve even invented a motorized spice rack that sorts spices like a carnival ride—because who doesn’t need that?
- You occasionally find a spoon in the knife section of the silverware divider and ponder what kind of creatures live in your home.
- Your husband used to be the spontaneous type, suggesting road trips with no destination. You endured that once—spending the night in a Cracker Barrel parking lot made him a firm believer in your mileage calculations and hotel scouting. Now he just drives.
- After the kids are asleep, you can accomplish a mountain of tasks. Those distracted by the Internet? They simply lack willpower.
- But yes, there are moments of weakness, and you’re not afraid to loathe yourself for it.
- Calculating how much childcare you need for the work you want to get done is as precise as NASA’s fuel-to-weight calculations for launching a space shuttle.
- And yes, you’ve got it all under control. You make the lead character in Gone Girl look like a laid-back hippie.
For more information on fertility, check out Make A Mom, and for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit IVF Babble.
Summary:
This light-hearted piece humorously captures the quirks of Type A moms, from meticulous organization to unique travel rules. It explores how their innate drive for perfection shapes their daily lives and relationships, leaving readers nodding in recognition.