I may have been born in Canada and spent time in Illinois, but my heart truly lies in Wisconsin, where I soaked up all the essentials of life.
Stop Your Whinin’
Midwesterners are renowned for their kindness, but we also know how to roll with the punches. When “Sconnie” parents find themselves buried under 31 inches of snow on Halloween, do you think they cancel the festivities? Nope! Sure, it might take a bit longer to collect candy, but trudging through snow drifts adds to the adventure, don’t you think? Besides, what’s the point of having a Toro 18-inch Electric Power Curve Snow Thrower in the garage if not to clear a path while dressed as a superhero? Seriously, quit your whinin’.
It’s Not ‘Soda,’ It’s ‘Pop’
Let’s get one thing straight: “soda” is a term that doesn’t exist in Wisconsin. You’ll only hear “pop” here—no exceptions!
Every Season Has Its Purpose
Wisconsin’s seasons unfold like this: Packers, Brewers, Packers, and House Lights. December is its own magical time, dedicated to cranking up those electric bills as we show off our dazzling holiday lights. And don’t forget the plastic lawn ornaments; fake deer munching on imaginary berries are a must!
Our Work Ethic is Unmatched
When fresh graduates from the University of Wisconsin (go Badgers!) venture to bustling cities like New York, Los Angeles, or Washington, D.C., they’re snatched up quickly. Why? Because they’re polite and lack an inflated sense of entitlement. They’re the ones happily fetching coffee and managing spreadsheets without a second thought. Wisconsin kids don’t boast about their careers before turning 30. We’re all about hard work and perseverance. End of story.
Cheese is a Solution
Got a problem? A slice of sharp cheddar might just do the trick. For tougher times, reach for the Swiss. Trust me on this one!
Water Skiing is a Must
In Wisconsin, if you can’t water ski, you might as well be missing a crucial life skill. So let’s gather the family, hit up one of the 15,000 lakes, camp out, build a fire, and roast some s’mores!
Respect for Elders is Key
You won’t find many teenagers sassing their parents around here. With mega-churches on almost every corner, the message about honoring your parents is clear, and the kids listen.
Cow-Tipping is Real
While not everyone in Wisconsin lives on a farm, there’s usually one nearby. And yes, bored high schoolers have been known to engage in cow-tipping after a Friday night football game. But seriously, don’t try this at home!
Friday Night Fish Fry is Sacred
No matter if you’re in Fond du Lac, Milwaukee, Madison, or Green Bay, a Friday night without a fish fry is just unthinkable. You and your family will be on the hunt for some crispy fried cod and greasy potato wedges, preferably in a lively church basement. If you’re in Sun Prairie, Buck & Honey’s is the place to be.
Brats Aren’t Spoiled Kids
In Wisconsin, brats—pronounced “brahts”—are delicious sausages, and they deserve your utmost respect (not to mention a generous serving of sauerkraut). Mixing them up with hot dogs? Not on my watch!
Beer is Our Other Religion
If you’re over 18, you might find that we look the other way when it comes to beer. Well, sort of. If you’re under 21, just avoid bars where you’ll get carded, and don’t even think about drinking and driving. But if you happen to be at a friend’s barbecue sipping a cold one? We get it. Beer is a way of life here. Wisconsinites love local brews like Leinenkugel’s and Capital Brewery. And if you’re lucky enough to be in Madison, you’re probably enjoying a cold drink while soaking up the sun on the university’s gorgeous terrace by Lake Mendota. This is why many of us either never leave or always come back home.
In summary, growing up in Wisconsin means embracing hard work, enjoying the outdoors, and indulging in culinary delights like cheese and brats. It’s all about community, tradition, and the unique charm of the Badger State.