If you’re new to the area, you might be in for a surprise. Here are some truths that only those from New England can truly appreciate when it comes to extreme snowstorms:
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Home is Where the Heartache Is
Since January, you’ve spent more time bundled up at home than you have at work or school. Between snow days and the flu you caught from being cooped up with everyone else, you’ve run out of tissues and resorted to using pages from an old catalog to deal with your runny nose. -
Car Troubles Galore
Weather-related car issues are a rite of passage. Whether you’ve been stuck in a snowbank, hit a pothole that left you with a flat, or you’re just sore from flipping off drivers who have no idea how to handle winter roads, your patience is wearing thin. -
Hygiene? What’s That?
Your car is buried beneath a mountain of snow, and your motivation to change out of pajamas has disappeared. Why bother with basic hygiene? You tell yourself that the extra layers of funk keep you warm. Spoiler: they don’t, and your loved ones are beginning to notice. -
Liquid Courage
With nothing else to do, you’ve turned to drinking. You’ve binged through every show on Netflix, and your eyes feel like sandpaper. When the snacks run out and you can’t muster the energy for romance, you find yourself resorting to that last bottle of crème de menthe, which you’ve even considered using as mouthwash. -
Comfort Food Overload
You’ve been indulging in all the comfort food you can find. Your regular clothes are feeling a bit snug, but who cares? The only outfits you wear are a hoodie covered in dog hair and some comfy pajama pants. Cooking and baking have become your new hobbies, offering warmth and a break from the chill. -
Hardware Store Woes
If you’ve braved a trip to the hardware store, you know the struggle is real. Even if you manage to drive through the chaos to find parking, good luck finding essentials like a space heater or a roof rake (if you don’t know what that is, count yourself lucky!). If it’s not available on Amazon Prime, you probably won’t be getting it anytime soon. -
Trash Trouble
Trash collection days are a distant memory. When the garbage truck does finally arrive, you face the daunting task of maneuvering your trash cans over snowbanks to get them to the curb. Your porch is now an eyesore filled with bags of trash, mostly consisting of empty wine bottles and deliveries from online shopping sprees. -
Parenting at Its Worst
Your parenting skills have hit a new low. You’ve exhausted every indoor activity for your kids, and now your toddler finds joy in shaking a container of popcorn kernels. In a moment of desperation, you might even end up eating the popcorn while allowing your child to watch back-to-back episodes of some mind-numbing cartoon. -
Social Skills on Ice
You’ve canceled all plans that don’t offer guaranteed parking. When you do encounter someone you know, you might find yourself hugging them tightly and shedding a tear. Your mail carrier has started avoiding your house, and the UPS driver is clearly frightened. -
Flooding? No Big Deal
When the snow begins to melt, you’re not too bothered by the flooding that follows. Water is creeping into your basement, your windows are leaking, and you assure yourself that your house is merely shedding tears of joy, just like you.
If you find yourself resonating with these experiences, you’re not alone. For further insights into navigating these challenges, check out this blog post about coping with winter blues. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination options, visit Make a Mom for a reliable selection of kits. Additionally, for those dealing with fertility issues, this resource is incredibly helpful.
In summary, surviving a New England winter is a unique experience filled with its own set of challenges and bizarre realities. From dealing with the aftermath of heavy snowfall to the struggle of parenting indoors, we’ve all been there. Embrace the chaos and find comfort in the shared camaraderie of fellow New Englanders.
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