I discovered a lump. Initially, I wasn’t too concerned; I had a cyst in the same area just a year prior that turned out to be harmless. I promptly called my doctor to schedule an appointment. During my visit with the nurse practitioner at my OBGYN’s office, she examined the lump and reassured me that it felt similar to the previous cyst. She suggested a “watch and wait” approach for 3-6 months. I, however, insisted on an ultrasound. Thank goodness I did.
The ultrasound unveiled two areas of concern, leading to a scheduled biopsy. The procedure was uncomfortable, to say the least, as they struggled to numb the area properly, making the experience all the more intense. The initial feedback was positive; they believed it looked benign, which brought relief not just to me but to my partner, Mark, as well. But the next day, while shopping, everything changed. I received a phone call that would alter my life forever.
One of the spots was indeed a benign fibroid, but the other was invasive ductal carcinoma. That phone call came just before Thanksgiving, a moment I will never forget. Mark and I were huddled close, absorbing the weight of the news together. I immediately dialed my mom, apologizing for the burden I felt I was placing on her. Watching my family grapple with the news has been heartbreaking; I felt as though I had taken away some of their joy. My dad rushed to take the kids away so they wouldn’t witness our despair. Mark and I held each other, overwhelmed with tears, and I made him a promise: I wouldn’t leave him.
That was a truly awful day. I’ve had moments of grappling with the thought of “this isn’t fair.” Yet, when I take a step back, I realize it actually is fair. My life has been filled with blessings. I often think, “Something has to go wrong; life has been too good.”
I grew up in a nurturing family where love was abundant. My parents prioritized my brother and me, embodying traits such as silliness, generosity, and honesty. They always seemed to know what I needed, and I never felt lacking. I attended excellent schools and received a remarkable education that opened doors for me. I’ve had the privilege of traveling internationally, forming connections with diverse individuals, and being loved unconditionally for who I am. I found my soulmate in Mark, and I’m fortunate to work in a job that I would embrace even without pay. I find beauty and divinity in the world around me, feeling joyful the vast majority of the time. I dream without limits and am unafraid to take risks. I’ve run marathons and penned poems I’m proud of, living in a home that radiates warmth. My neighbors share wine with me during the day and bring meals for no reason at all. I’m blessed with friends who are selfless and bring joy to my life. Most importantly, I’ve given life to two incredible boys who fill my days with love and magic.
Working with at-risk youth has shown me what true unfairness looks like. Unfairness is being discriminated against because of your race, appearance, or sexual orientation. It’s being subjected to abuse or going hungry. I understand what unfair truly means.
Having cancer is undeniably tough. It’s incredibly challenging and frustrating. But, in my view, it’s not unfair. It’s simply a part of life—a chapter in my story. And I am equipped to face it head-on: with an exceptional medical team, an unwavering support network, health insurance, and the determination to overcome this challenge. And I will.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection, Emily Carter shares her journey with cancer, emphasizing that while the experience is undeniably tough, it is not unfair. She highlights the blessings in her life, including a loving family, fulfilling career, and the joy of motherhood, while also recognizing the harsh realities faced by many. Through her resilience and support system, she remains determined to overcome her diagnosis.
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