When it comes to maintaining a strict bedtime routine, I might not be winning any parenting awards. To put it simply, I’m not exactly a hardliner. I easily give in to those last-minute requests for an extra story or a glass of water. If I were parenting alone, things might be different, but I doubt it.
My daughter, Mia, spends the night at my place a couple of times each week, and I treasure those moments. Sure, there are plenty of challenges—like her refusal to brush her teeth, her reluctance to leave the warmth of her bed, and her endless “no” to every breakfast option I present. But honestly, I remember being just as stubborn at her age and have learned to embrace the chaos.
On nights when Mia stays with her mom, our routine shifts a bit. Five years ago, when I first entered the world of co-parenting, I made a promise to myself: Mia would hear me say “I love you” every day, no matter the circumstances. I believed it was essential for her to hear my voice, even if some might argue it was for my benefit as much as hers.
Back then, with my Blackberry in hand and Mia just four years old, our daily connection was limited to quick phone calls. Neither of us was particularly fond of lengthy conversations, so we kept it simple. We tried to schedule calls well before bedtime, aiming to avoid any reminders of our family situation before she drifted off to sleep.
Fast forward to the present. Last Sunday, after a long day that included a flat tire and 120 miles of driving, I settled onto my couch to catch the Oscars. Suddenly, my phone buzzed—it was Mia, FaceTiming me from her mom’s house. Naturally, I answered, expecting a quick chat. We ended up talking for 20 minutes as she showed me her Littlest Pet Shop collection. I knew bedtime was approaching and urged her to start getting ready.
Then, she called back, now nestled in her bed but still wide awake. We chatted for another 10 minutes, and I found myself torn between wanting her to sleep and enjoying our connection. Just as I thought she might be brushing her teeth, I hit play on my DVR, eager to finally watch the Oscars. But our conversation continued for another 20 minutes, and I started to feel a twinge of frustration. I wanted to be a good dad, but I also wanted to enjoy my evening.
This back-and-forth made me realize a lot. I struggle with not responding to texts or emails, but when it comes to Mia, I find it even harder to establish boundaries. Communicating through text feels permanent; she can always scroll back and see me as the one who cut her off. It’s tough to enforce bedtime when we’re apart and missing each other. It begs the question: at what point does my instinct to protect her from the fallout of our separation become a logistical issue? Regardless of our family situation, she still needs to go to bed.
If you’re navigating a similar situation, you might find value in checking out this blog post, which offers insights into parenting through various challenges. For those considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom provides reliable syringe kits to simplify the process. Additionally, if you want to learn more about pregnancy and home insemination, this Wikipedia article is an excellent resource.
In summary, parenting from a distance can be a balancing act between maintaining connection and establishing necessary boundaries. While technology has transformed how we communicate, it also presents unique challenges that require ongoing reflection and adjustment.
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