Are you that self-righteous know-it-all who can’t help but judge the parenting choices of others? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Congratulations on taking the first step toward a more understanding and compassionate life.
I once walked the same path. In my parenting journey, I believed I had all the answers, and I shared them like I was handing out Halloween candy. The main difference? On Halloween, kids knock on doors and ask for treats. In my case, I was dishing out unsolicited advice without anyone asking. That, my friend, is the essence of a Sanctimommy. The first step toward shedding that label is to zip it unless someone genuinely seeks your opinion.
I understand; it’s tough. You’ve made it clear that you’ve mastered the “parenting thing.” I get it—you think you’re being helpful by sharing your nuggets of wisdom, but let’s be real: we’re not solving complex equations here. There isn’t one right way to parent every child. Just stop. There isn’t.
Do I really need to remind you that every child is unique? Seriously, each one is like a snowflake, with their own needs and quirks. What works wonders for your little angel might not suit my child at all. Your method might feel infallible, but here’s the kicker: it might not be applicable to everyone else. The moment that light bulb flickers on in your head, you’ll shed the Sanctimommy persona and just be a mom—a beautifully imperfect one who’s trying her best.
For me, the turning point was the birth of my second child, who turned out to be nothing like his older brother. That moment made it abundantly clear that there is no universal parenting guide. I still hold strong opinions about parenting; believe me, keeping them to myself can be a challenge. But when it comes to sharing my thoughts with the online world, I now know to keep my hands in my pockets and walk away.
So, here’s the deal: just keep your wisdom to yourself. Live your perfect life with your perfect family. If you feel the urge to document all your insights, why not write a memoir or a how-to guide for future generations? Imagine gifting it to your future daughter-in-law at her baby shower—wouldn’t that be a treat?
Now, do you understand? Is it starting to click?
Originally published on July 12, 2015.
Summary
This article reflects on the journey from being a sanctimonious parent to embracing the uniqueness of different parenting styles. It emphasizes the importance of listening rather than lecturing, acknowledging that every child is different and that there isn’t one correct way to parent. With humor and honesty, it encourages readers to keep their unsolicited advice to themselves and appreciate the diverse experiences of parenthood.