I can’t even keep track of how many times my friends or I have exclaimed, “My partner has no clue what it’s like to juggle the kids at home.” Back when I was working full-time while pregnant and later balancing both a career and motherhood, I often vented about how my husband “just doesn’t get it.” And honestly, he didn’t.
He doesn’t really comprehend what my day-to-day looks like, just as I can’t fully grasp the intricacies of his job. Our lives seem like a puzzle to each other. He can never find the peanut butter or where I stash the extra towels, and somehow, the baby always ends up in pajamas when she’s with Daddy. I suspect it’s because he hasn’t quite mastered the art of dressing her. And let’s not even talk about how she always seems to be missing a sock when I return home, the house smells like a mix of farts and chicken fingers, and the boys are practically soaked in sweat from their wrestling matches.
I used to get frustrated because he didn’t care for the kids in the way I would. I mean, if I were home, there wouldn’t be any lingering fart smells or chicken fingers on the menu—definitely no wrestling! But after I left my job to embrace the full-time caregiver role, I found myself so relieved to have a break that I stopped worrying about what happened while I was away. Now, I’m just genuinely grateful for his support, and he appreciates everything I do—even if he doesn’t fully understand what it all entails, which is probably why he’s so thankful.
But… he has no clue.
- He has no idea how much coffee fuels my day.
- He has no idea what it’s like to run errands with three energetic kids in tow.
- He has no idea how awkward it is to change a tampon in front of an audience.
- He has no idea how isolating and overwhelming it can feel on tough days when the kids are acting up and I could really use an extra pair of hands.
- He has no idea how challenging it is to watch my body transform three times, feeling like I have little control over it.
- He has no idea just how happy he makes me—because honestly, I’ve never managed to express that in words.
- He has no clue how thankful I am for his unwavering love, even as he witnesses my imperfections with each passing year.
- He has no idea how lucky I feel to witness our children’s lives unfold, each moment—good or bad—because he made it possible for me to be here.
He may not fully grasp the challenges of being me, but he also doesn’t realize just how wonderful it can be.
So, to my husband, who has no idea what it’s like to be the one at home with the kids… thank you. I think we don’t express our gratitude enough to those who love us, even when they endure our most ridiculous antics.
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In summary, while my partner and I may not fully understand each other’s daily experiences, we both appreciate the roles we play in our family. Communication is key, and expressing our gratitude can strengthen our bond.