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Awakening
You know that moment when your body realizes it’s time to wake up, but your brain is still tangled in a web of dehydration and exhaustion? Before your eyelids finally peel open, you mentally assess the damage. Headache? Check. Nausea? Oh boy, that’s going to be a fun ride. Why didn’t I just hire that babysitter for the night? Did I really attempt the Macarena for the kids next door? Oof, the headache is definitely kicking in now. -
Cloistering
Eventually, you’ll hear the patter of tiny feet outside your bedroom door. There’s whispering—oh no, what are they plotting? I can just imagine them getting creative with crayons on my walls! Please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t come in here just yet. -
Bargaining
If you think hard enough, maybe you can strike a deal with your partner before the kids burst in demanding some parental attention. I vaguely recall a passionate evening with my partner last night (please tell me it was after the babysitter left!). So, dear husband, while you’re still deep in sleep, you’re on morning duty. -
Courage
The sound of your youngest wailing, coupled with the unmistakable aroma of burnt toast, finally drags you from your cozy sanctuary. Alright, it’s not the end of the world. A little disoriented, sure, but I can handle this. A Coke and half a cup of coffee later, and it’s showtime! Here comes the energetic and slightly loopy version of Mom! -
Second Collapse
Out of nowhere, the fun version of Mommy feels like she might just crumble into pieces right there in the kitchen. But wait! There are soccer games, birthday parties, and meals to prepare for a new mom—who thought being hungover would come with a to-do list? The only pain relief in sight is children’s Advil, and the lone Alka-Seltzer I found is not looking too fizzy. -
Thankfulness and Regret
It’s funny how gratitude and guilt can swirl together for a hungover parent. The thoughts of your reckless choices creep in: What if there had been a fire? (My partner might sleep through a hurricane, but surely he’d wake for that!) And just like that, guilt transforms into appreciation for your partner, who may not have been the most helpful in the first year, but is now your rock amidst the chaos. -
Sleep Is So Close
Finally, sweet rest beckons. By the end of the day, the hungover version of Mom is utterly wiped out. After chugging a gallon of water, taking some Advil (thanks to my partner), and enjoying a refreshing shower, can anything feel better than sinking into bed? -
Determination
This will never, ever happen again. No way, no how! Totally not worth it (fade to black)…
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In summary, navigating a hangover while parenting involves a rollercoaster of emotions and responsibilities from the initial awakening to the determination to never repeat the experience. Each stage is filled with humor and the undeniable reality of being a parent, no matter how rough the night before was.