Huey Lewis croons, “Is this it?” and I can’t help but wonder the same thing. Back in 1985, while jamming to that song on my boom box in my purple bedroom, I certainly never imagined I’d be coaching a soccer team struggling to keep players because it wasn’t challenging enough. Honestly, I didn’t even know what soccer was back then!
As I share this peculiar saga with my husband, he casually mentions it isn’t even on his radar. I can understand that. There’s a backhoe parked in our driveway, tackling a long-overdue drainage project that looks like it’ll drain our wallets too. We eat dinner in relative silence while the kids buzz about their day, soccer tryouts, and scoring goals. I catch my husband gazing out the window, and I wonder if he’s got Huey Lewis playing in his head. Back in ’85, did he think he’d be eating hotdogs on a Wednesday night, pondering whether this latest home project was more than we could handle? Is this it?
As we transition into the evening routine—let’s call it “The Roundup”—everything is in full motion. Lunchboxes are checked and packed, dinner dishes are cleared, coffee is brewing, and our pets are fed. Finally, the kids slip into their PJs. This moment should be peaceful. I’ve seen countless Pinterest ideas suggesting that kids should be reading quietly. But let’s be real—I’ve never mastered a calm evening. Even when they were little, it was always a cacophony that ended in tears. At least now they can put on their own clothes!
I take our dog out for her last walk of the night while still wrestling with my thoughts about soccer. I had promised my younger self that motherhood would be about not living vicariously through my kids’ achievements. It’s startling how easy it is to get wrapped up in their successes. Of course, I want my kids to shine, but it has to come from them, not me. The challenge is teaching them that true desire must come from within, not external pressure. A few years back, I would have claimed that potty training and sleepless nights were the toughest parts of parenting. Perspective is everything, isn’t it?
As I wrap up our short walk, an image of my daughter flashes through my mind—she’s out on the soccer field, grinning like she’s just won the lottery. Sure, our team might lose, but she’s still beaming. Just last week, she asked to hang out with her cousins, a reminder that I might be inching closer to my goal as a parent.
Maybe back in that ’85 bedroom, I was unknowingly envisioning this moment, this evening, this soccer saga. The details might have been fuzzy, but the intention was there. If I managed to get my twins to sleep through the night (and I use that term loosely), then I can certainly navigate this phase, often referred to as “the middle.” Some days are messier than others, but it’s all part of the journey, right? The foundation I’ve built over the years is crucial, especially as we head toward the teenage years.
Entering the house, I’m jolted back to reality. In my five-minute absence, a small skirmish has erupted into the usual chaos of yelling, crying, and pinching. I trudge upstairs, listening to the familiar sound of my husband in the shower, pretending he’s oblivious. Meanwhile, the dog has snatched a favorite stuffed animal, triggering even more chaos. After tucking everyone into bed (oh, and remaking my 7-year-old’s bed, as always), I shower them with goodnight kisses.
I finally make my way downstairs, pour myself a glass of pinot, and settle in for a moment of relaxation. Soon, my husband and I will place bets on which child will struggle to sleep and which homework assignment has slipped through the cracks. We’ll recap the day and plan for tomorrow. And if we’re feeling particularly adventurous, we might even discuss dreams for the future. That’s how I realize I’ve answered Huey Lewis’s question.
In conclusion, embracing the chaos and finding joy in these moments is what life is all about. Whether it’s a Huey Lewis song or a wild evening with my kids, I’m learning to make peace with it all.
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