30: Welcome to your 30s! The moment you hit the big 3-0, it dawns on you that age is merely a figure. Honestly, 30 feels a lot like 29, which felt like 28, and so on. In reality, turning 30 is like being 22—only now you have a mortgage to worry about!
31: At 31, you start to question if you missed out on too many adventures in your 20s. You find yourself daydreaming about taking a month off to backpack across Europe or leap off cliffs in Santorini. But then reality hits as you finish changing yet another diaper, hand your little one over to your partner, and finally wash your hair for the first time in days.
32: By 32, you’re convinced you could still pass for 25! Strapping your toddler into the jogging stroller, you manage some sit-ups while they nap. Your body is somehow looking better than it did in high school. Whoa, when was my last period? Your 30s are shaping up to be pretty awesome!
33: Fast forward to 33, and you’re anxiously awaiting the arrival of your baby, who’s four days overdue. You can’t see your feet or bikini area after weeks of pregnancy, and you contemplate whether you can trust your partner with some last-minute “grooming.” Your mom is busy dusting the nursery, and while your toddler is wreaking havoc with train tracks, you find yourself thinking, “Forget the natural birth plan; bring on the Pitocin and epidural. Let’s get this baby out!”
34: At 34, you accomplish what feels like a monumental task—taking your 1-year-old and 3-year-old to Disney World! You can proudly check that off your bucket list.
35: When you reach 35, you realize you and your spouse haven’t had a real conversation in ages. Life has been a whirlwind of work and parenting. So, mustering some courage, you ditch the kids with the in-laws for a week and escape to Cancun. There, you unwind at a swim-up bar with Patrón margaritas, dance under the stars, and your husband surprises you with a boat tour through mangroves. You return home sun-kissed and reconnected.
36: At 36, your oldest heads off to kindergarten while the youngest starts preschool. Gone are the days of bottles and diapers. With the crib stored away, you’re finally sure that your family is complete. But just as you’re planning a road trip to Graceland, you find a rogue pacifier behind the couch and hear that little voice inside—tick, tick, tick.
37: When you hit 37, you receive an invitation to your 20-year high school reunion. You think about attending for a hot minute, but then you weigh the pros and cons of leaving the kids with the in-laws, boarding your 1-year-old dachshund (the ultimate remedy for last year’s baby fever), and splurging on overpriced dinner tickets. Instead, you call your best friend, who agrees that a weekend getaway sounds way more fun than prime rib or salmon.
38: At 38, the looming 40 begins to trigger some anxiety. You start noticing those pesky forehead lines and wonder when you got “old lady hands.” You realize that the ’90s weren’t just a decade ago, and it’s been 20 years since you started college! Life feels fleeting, prompting you to finally let go of those burdens—be it feelings, worries, or even certain people—who no longer contribute to your happiness.
39: Finally, at 39, you come to terms with the fact that age is just a number, albeit one that’s close to starting with a 4. Surprisingly, you still feel like 22—just with a bit more life experience. Gazing in the mirror, you think you can still pass for 35. You excitedly pack a high-waisted bikini next to your husband’s swim trunks and ensure the kids are ready for a trip to Santorini.
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Summary
Your 30s can be an exciting and transformative decade filled with milestones, challenges, and self-discovery. From the joys of parenthood to navigating personal growth, this journey is uniquely yours. Embrace every moment, as each year brings its own adventures and lessons.