This summer will forever be etched in my memory as the time I welcomed a tween boy into my life. One day, my child was surrounded by an endless array of stuffed animals, and the next, he was sprawled on his bed with earbuds in, intently watching YouTube videos about Minecraft—no stuffed animals in sight. (Rest assured, his favorite plush companion, Mr. Fluff, is still around, albeit out of view.) The transition was remarkably swift. Although he has always had a knack for dramatic eye rolls and clever comebacks, my tween has taken these traits to new heights since turning 11. I’ve experienced moments of anxiety as I realize we may be on the cusp of entering the teenage years. The train is approaching, and I can hear the whistle—it’s got an attitude.
Amidst the uncertainty, I am making an effort to focus on the positive aspects of my oldest child’s new stage. After all, it’s not all doom and gloom when it comes to being a tween. I have the advantage of comparing him daily to a naive 9-year-old, a mischievous almost-6-year-old, and a spirited toddler developing strong opinions. Here are some genuinely remarkable things about having a tween boy:
- Mutual Understanding of Privacy: While I still have little privacy (and yes, I still can’t use the bathroom alone), my tween acknowledges my need for occasional solitude. He finds the prospect of seeing me naked horrifying and keeps his distance to avoid any unfortunate encounters. If he accidentally sees me, he covers his eyes and lets out a yelp. Thanks, buddy—yet, hallelujah!
- A New Perspective on Sleep: Unlike younger children who resist bedtime yet eagerly rise at dawn, my tween enjoys sleeping in and stays up late reading. This newfound behavior aligns perfectly with my own views on rest and is a welcome change.
- Increased Independence: My tween is out of diapers, capable of washing his own hair (most of the time), and can prepare snacks or meals. He brushes his own teeth and picks out his own clothes. He can swim too! It feels like a significant weight has been lifted. If only he could master the art of coordinating outfits, we’d be golden.
- A Quieter Home: While he still whines and sulks from time to time, he’s generally quieter than before. This mostly stems from his newfound habit of sitting in a corner with earbuds in.
- A Sharp Sense of Humor: He has developed a sense of humor that genuinely makes me laugh—this time for the right reasons. He understands irony and can deliver quick-witted remarks. Just the other day, as he watched his siblings head toward the kiddie pool “because it’s warm,” he smirked and said, “I wonder if they realize why it’s warm?” His perspective is refreshing.
- Reliable Help: I can now trust him to help carry items like baby gear from the car or manage luggage at the airport. It’s like I gained two extra hands—if those hands could talk and whine, “What am I, your servant?” (The answer is yes, yes you are. Here’s another bag, my dear.)
- Shared Musical Tastes: During our drives, he sides with me in the great battle of DVDs versus CDs. I’m thrilled that he enjoys my music choices, favoring bands like Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5 over watching the same movie for the umpteenth time.
- Potty Training Success: He can hold it. Enough said.
- Rare Sweet Moments: Occasionally, he surprises me with heartfelt sentiments, making them all the more precious due to their rarity. Recently, when I dropped him off at summer camp, he hugged me, whispered, “I’m going to miss you,” and then lovingly addressed his little sister, “Do me a favor: don’t grow up too fast.” It nearly brought me to tears.
- Mature Palate: He appreciates adult food, ordering salads with his meals and actually consuming them. Although he has some food quirks, he is notably open to trying new dishes, which gives me hope that he won’t always opt for fast food on dates.
I find myself in a unique phase with my son—one that is both delightful and fleeting. He is no longer the unreasonable little child he once was, yet he hasn’t fully transitioned into a rebellious teenager. He’s at an age where he can be a great companion while still being my child. Though I sense the emergence of more sophisticated attitudes and a stubbornness that may soon require a visit to the hair colorist, I am determined to cherish this moment for what it is. Reflecting on how much he has grown since he was a baby or even a toddler, this is indeed a wonderful place to be—even if it is temporary.
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In summary, welcoming a tween boy into your life can be a mixed experience filled with both challenges and joys. The transition from childhood to adolescence brings about new dynamics that can be appreciated when viewed through a positive lens. By recognizing the unique traits and capabilities that emerge during this stage, parents can cherish the fleeting moments of companionship and growth.