Last weekend, I took my kids to my mom’s hometown in the Mississippi Delta. They were fascinated by the stories of her childhood, like dancing on the icebox in her parents’ grocery store, and visiting the small cemetery where our family members rest. However, what really struck them was witnessing poverty in its raw form—dilapidated houses, shuttered shops, and broken-down cars. It was a stark contrast to their lives in New York City. As kids often do, they began to ask questions: Where are the schools? What do people do for work if there are no businesses? Is there Minecraft here?
For my husband and me, this experience prompted a deep reflection on the lessons we’re imparting—or failing to impart—about money. We’re not just talking about bank accounts or budgets but rather the true essence of what money represents in life. How should our children view it? Here’s what we came up with:
- If choosing between a $15 item and a $25 item doesn’t require much thought, consider yourself fortunate.
- Remember: people earn money; money doesn’t define people.
- Money is just one factor that influences behavior, not the only one.
- Would you like to be judged based on your financial status? Neither does anyone else.
- Money is relative. What seems like a small amount to you could be significant to someone else. So, avoid casually claiming to be “broke” when you have food and shoes; it’s just not cool.
- If you’re ordering drinks, be ready to pay your fair share. When you’re starting out, don’t expect everyone to split the bill evenly. Offer to cover your portion, especially if you’re the one indulging.
- Don’t assume your wealthiest friend will pick up the tab. If they do, great! But never take it for granted; it can create an uncomfortable dynamic.
- If you can’t afford something, simply don’t go. Allow yourself a brief moment of disappointment, then move on. With friends, a job, and working legs, you’ve got much to be grateful for.
- Never feel the need to apologize for your financial situation—whether you’re doing well or struggling.
- Someone will always have more, and someone will always have less. What matters is whether you have what you truly need.
- Cash is often the easiest form of payment. A wise woman once told me this, and she was right. Sometimes it’s less complicated to pay with money, even if you’re counting coins from the bottom of your sock drawer.
- Very little in life is genuinely “free.” For example, if a friend who’s a lawyer helps you out without charge, you might feel grateful, but be mindful of any emotional debts that might arise later.
- If one day you can buy whatever you want, that’s great! But always remember to stay humble. Reflect on the challenges you faced in tough times and recognize the true value—and limitations—of money. You can provide for yourself and your family, even if it means giving up on things like Minecraft for a while.
This introspection led us to ask ourselves, what do we really want our kids to know about money?
For more insights on parenting and finances, check out some of our other articles, like this one on home insemination strategies.
Summary
In this post, I reflect on important life lessons about money I want to share with my kids, emphasizing values over mere financial knowledge. From understanding the relative nature of money to recognizing emotional debts and maintaining humility, these insights aim to guide them in forming a healthy relationship with finances.