“Hey, Uncle Joe thinks we can’t watch Pitch Perfect 2, but come on, it’s not even that bad. Just texting you to check—can we go, right? I mean, it’s Pitch Perfect 2!”
I sighed, firmly planting my feet next to the fence. Pitch Perfect 2 could definitely wait. As my husband navigated the course, I dashed through the trees just in time to see him splash himself with water before diving into the race.
The heat was suffocating, even as a spectator. Finding a shady spot, I pulled out my phone. “I’m 99 percent sure we can catch the movie after I get back,” I texted my son. “But can we avoid any drama while I’m gone? I really don’t want to exert my authority and stir up tension. Does that make sense?”
I braced myself for a debate, something I didn’t have the energy for. But within moments, as I strolled to a nearby café for lunch, he replied, “Sure, that’s fine.” I read the message twice, half-expecting it to disappear.
Once I settled into the cool air of the restaurant, I was struck by how smoothly everything had unfolded. No accusations, no eye rolls, just clear communication and mutual respect.
This wasn’t the first time I’d found texting to be my secret parenting weapon. When my kids nag me for something—a sudden change of plans or a new outfit from the other end of the mall—a crisp “No” via text, possibly with a brief explanation, helps me dodge the endless cycle of arguments that always lead to me losing my cool. The silence that follows lets me maintain that same calm when we reconnect, steering clear of any further discussions.
What I appreciate most about texting is the built-in pause. It acts as a filter; by the time I send a message, I’ve already had a moment to think about my response. That “parenting timeout” is invaluable, and texting gives me that chance every time.
I suppose it’s no surprise that I’m a writer—I thrive on the luxury of time to craft my words. I’m the person who rewrites a Facebook post a dozen times before hitting send or deciding to delete it altogether. Speaking off the cuff? Not my forte; hence, my resume says “former lawyer.”
In law school, I envisioned attorneys with well-rehearsed scripts—much like the theater performances I did in high school. But the reality is that every case is unique, and there’s no handbook to guarantee you’ll nail it.
Unfortunately, my kids didn’t come with manuals either—no magic book to decipher their tears or understand their needs.
Soon, they’ll both be teenagers, and I still haven’t stumbled upon a guide to navigate this wild ride. While I haven’t discovered a magic pause button to prevent me from blurting out things I’ll later regret, texting gives me that invaluable delay right at my fingertips.
I know this isn’t a complete solution, but as my kids become more independent and spend more time away from home, texting might just become my best ally. And who knows, perhaps when we are together, I can keep my phone handy as a gentle reminder to pause and think before I speak.
This article was originally published on June 24, 2015.
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Summary:
Texting can be an effective way to navigate parenting challenges, offering a moment to pause and think before responding. It allows for clear communication without the emotional turmoil that can arise during face-to-face discussions. As children grow and become more independent, this method may prove increasingly useful.