Dear Mia,
My firstborn, my cherished girl. The little one we wished for, the joy of our lives. It feels like just yesterday you were crawling around, chasing our cat with those tiny, determined feet. And now, look at you! You’re confidently sitting behind the wheel of my SUV, learner’s permit snug in your pocket, ready to conquer the art of the three-point turn. You’re smashing it in your honors classes and nurturing that incredible singing voice that lights up any room.
When I was your age, I believed my parents were overly strict. Honestly, I thought that until about a year ago! Curfews, endless questions about my whereabouts, and that nagging worry about whether I had finished my homework or studied enough for a test. But now, stepping into the shoes of a parent, I see it differently. My own parents weren’t strict; they were scared. And guess what? I’m scared too. Terrified, actually.
You’re on the brink of becoming a self-sufficient woman, yet you’re still my little girl at 16. I still catch you belting out Disney tunes, and I know you still cuddle with that old Blankie. You laugh that delightful, hearty laugh just like you did when you were little. You may not cry often, but occasionally, you still curl up on my lap for a good cry—though, let’s be real, you barely fit there anymore!
What awaits you in this vast world? It’s filled with things we can’t control. As your parent, I set boundaries to protect you. You see it as limiting your freedom, but I worry about the dangers out there. Want to ride with a teen driver? I worry about other reckless drivers. Fancy a trip on your boyfriend’s boat during a holiday weekend? It’s not you or him I doubt; it’s the unpredictable nature of the water. Parties at homes where we don’t know the parents? Well, some parents might not have the best judgment, and that keeps me up at night.
Trust is not the issue here. You are an incredibly strong young woman, having already faced challenges that might make many adults falter. You confront difficulties head-on, learn from them, and grow. Your heart is immense; you feel empathy and kindness so deeply, it’s almost overwhelming!
I yearn to shield you, to wrap you in a cozy cocoon of love. I don’t want to let you go into the chaos of the world. Back when you were little and fell at the playground, you came running to me for comfort. Now, my worries have shifted. I wonder who you’ll turn to for comfort in tough times. The world has its share of predators, parties, and substances that can lead you astray.
While I want to keep you safe, I also want you to thrive, to learn and to experience life. Contrary to what you might think, I want you to have fun with your friends. But letting go? That’s the tough part! You want to head straight to a friend’s house after school for a sleepover, and I just want to see you first—to lay eyes on my beautiful girl and remind myself that, despite the eye rolls and groans at your “dorky mom,” you still love me.
As you navigate through this confusing period of adolescence, I have to remember you’re not quite a grown-up yet. Sometimes, I feel overlooked or underappreciated, but should I really expect you to express gratitude every time I do something for you? As you grow, it’s natural to be a bit self-absorbed. There are moments when I just need to let it go and remind myself that my actions come from love; I’m not seeking accolades. I’m here because I am your mother.
In just two short years, you’ll be off to college. That thought makes my heart race and a lump form in my throat. You will be away, starting a new chapter filled with growth and new experiences. I want you to embrace life, meet new people, take on challenges, and discover things you never knew existed. But, I won’t lie; part of me wishes time could rewind to those days when your dad and I were your go-to sources of knowledge and comfort. (And secretly, wouldn’t it be great to do online classes in pajamas? You could stay with us until, say, 30!)
Mia, everything I do and say comes from a place of love. Curfews aren’t a punishment; they’re a way for me to breathe easy, knowing you’re safe at home. Questions about school and grades come from my desire for you to reach your full potential—not perfection, just your best. All because of an instinctual, unconditional love that I have for you.
One of my dad’s favorite songs was “Teach Your Children” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. It always brought him to tears, and now, as a mom, it does the same to me. Here are some poignant lyrics that encapsulate my feelings:
Teach your children well
Their father’s hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick’s, the one you’ll know by
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you…
So, my daughter, look at me, sigh, and know that I love you dearly.
With all my heart,
Mom
In Summary
This heartfelt letter expresses a mother’s love, fears, and hopes for her teenage daughter as she steps into adulthood. The mother reflects on her own experiences as a teen, the challenges of parenting, and the desire to protect her daughter while also allowing her to grow and explore the world. It captures the bittersweet nature of watching a child transition into independence, all rooted in deep, unconditional love.