Every year, as school kicks off, I sit down with my boys for an important discussion about bullies. I explain what bullying is and emphasize that they should never become bullies themselves. This conversation is crucial because both of our children are on the autism spectrum, making them more vulnerable to bullying. They often struggle with interpreting social cues; sarcasm and meanness can fly right over their heads. If they encounter someone being unkind, they might not recognize it right away, which means we need to be proactive in guiding them.
The real challenge arises when deciding how to intervene as a parent. At what point should I step in, and when is it better to let them advocate for themselves? It’s a precarious balance that all parents navigate as their kids grow.
Two years ago, our oldest child faced bullying for the first time. We held meetings with the school, and the bully faced consequences, but I knew this wouldn’t be the last incident. My husband and I debated how to respond. Should we alert the school right away? It’s vital for our kids to learn to assert themselves, but we can’t always be there to protect them.
Last year, the same bully returned to torment our eldest. I was furious. Our sensitive boy was crying himself to sleep, all because of one cruel kid. I lay awake at night, pondering how to help him develop resilience without hardening his heart or turning him into a bully himself. During one of our late-night talks, he asked me how to cope with bullying.
After taking a deep breath, I shared my approach. “When I deal with grown-up bullies, I remind myself repeatedly that this person is simply unpleasant. Life is filled with all kinds of people; most are kind, but some are just mean. So when that kid starts being nasty, just think to yourself, ‘This kid is not worth my time.’” To my surprise, this advice resonated with him. However, I worried he might accidentally voice this at school, calling the bully out directly.
Fortunately, he didn’t. This strategy surprisingly worked well. Recently, at a local ballpark, a group of kids began to pick on our youngest. Their remarks were shockingly cruel, and when they told him they wished he would harm himself, I knew it was time to step in. That crossed a line; no child should be told such terrible things.
After a few tears and some comforting words, our youngest managed to move on relatively quickly. I was thankful that, due to his autism, he hadn’t fully grasped the meanness of their words and hoped he wouldn’t dwell on the incident. But I knew our oldest understood the severity of the situation.
As we left the park, I fought back tears while walking side by side with him. I calmly asked if he was okay after witnessing the bullying. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad my brother is okay. Those kids were just a bunch of jerks,” he replied. I realized that, in that moment, we were doing something right in our parenting.
For more insights on parenting and dealing with challenging situations, check out this related post on our blog. And if you’re looking for quality supplies for at-home insemination, consider browsing through reputable retailers like Make a Mom for their fertility booster kits. Additionally, you might find helpful information at Hopkins Medicine regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Teaching kids to handle bullying requires a thoughtful approach that balances intervention and self-advocacy. Open communication and strategies that promote resilience can help children navigate these challenging situations while maintaining their kindness.
Leave a Reply