As you near the big 5-0, strap in for a wild ride. Here are 25 things you might not expect when you’re pushing that milestone.
- Hot flashes? Sure. But you might also find yourself with cold feet—literally and figuratively.
- When it comes to pushing the elevator button, you might need a handful of ibuprofen first.
- Despite your age, you’ll always feel like you’re between 18 and 25—until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, that is.
- Oddly enough, you might realize your legs require less maintenance. Bonus!
- Think of a turtle’s neck. Yep, you might start to resemble that.
- Everyone seems younger now, from your brain surgeon to the pilot flying your plane.
- If you’re single, you know exactly what you want and aren’t afraid to ask for it. Married life? Well, it has its own rhythm, but those fantasies can still be pretty vivid.
- Surprise! You’re now subscribed to AARP without even realizing it.
- That issue from 1982 still stings, but you’ll find you think about it less often.
- You’ll care less about things that once consumed you—truly liberating!
- If a friend cancels lunch three times? Bye-bye! Your time is precious.
- True wisdom is realizing how much remains unknown to you, and that’s perfectly okay.
- Menopause? It’s a hidden blessing. No more tampons or birth control! You’ll wonder how you endured that madness for so long.
- Congratulations, you’ve officially morphed into your mother.
- Your body will reveal an astonishing network of veins—who knew?
- When they offer you a spot for a biopsy, you might just laugh and say, “Add it to the collection!”
- That glass of wine with dinner? Prepare to be wide awake at 3 AM instead.
- That bulging savings account you envisioned at this age? Yeah, right!
- You’ll meet a fabulous woman at a party and realize she’s closer in age to your kids than to you—awkward!
- Your tolerance for 24-hour news? Plummeting!
- You’ll catch yourself thinking, “Anything else would be more enjoyable than this news story.” Seriously, even organizing your sock drawer sounds better.
- Human folly will become fascinating rather than frustrating—like an anthropologist observing a quirky tribe.
- Rereading Shakespeare will have you thinking, “Wow, this guy was brilliant.” Meanwhile, if a current book doesn’t grab you by page 10, it’s heading straight to the donation pile.
- All those years spent raising kids? They’ll surprise you with the incredible adults they’ve become. You’ll think, “I’d hang out with these people even if they weren’t my offspring.”
- Speaking of offspring, let’s not even go there.
As you approach this age, remember that laughter and a little self-acceptance can go a long way. For more insights on family planning and pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy, or explore home insemination options at Cryobaby and Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, approaching 50 is a mix of surprises, self-discovery, and a bit of humor. Embrace the changes, cherish the wisdom, and laugh through it all.