How to Prepare Dinner with a Toddler in 100 Fun Steps

1. Let your little one know it’s time to whip up dinner.
2. Suggest they play with their toy kitchen while you cook.
3. Enthusiastically say, “I’m going to make something delicious! Want to create something in your kitchen too?”
4. Silently thank the universe for their enthusiastic response.
5. Begin your dinner prep.
6. Give the potatoes a good scrub.
7. Fill a pot with water.
8. Smash some garlic.
9. Bring the water to a boil.
10. Ask if they’d like to boil some water in their pretend kitchen.
11. Remind them that imaginary water will do just fine.
12. Encourage a little calmness, but when that doesn’t work…
13. Suggest they grab a BPA-free cup for some real water.
14. Emphasize the need for just a little bit of water.
15. Realize that suggesting pretend boiling was probably a bad idea.
16. Retrieve the fish or meat from the fridge.
17. Spot your toddler at the fridge, ready to fill their cup.
18. Offer your assistance.
19. Politely explain that we don’t hit in this house.
20. Brace yourself as they shout, “I. DON’T. NEED. HELP!”
21. Watch in disbelief as they overflow the cup all over the kitchen floor.
22. Resist the urge to say “I told you so.”
23. Attempt to soothe your upset toddler.
24. Dash upstairs for a towel.
25. Return with a much larger towel.
26. Clean up the mess while gently nudging your toddler out of the way as they lie on the floor.
27. Ask if there’s anything to help them feel better.
28. Explain that no lollipops until dinner is served.
29. Remind them that scratching is not nice.
30. Notice a small bruise and say, “Look, you made Mommy/Daddy hurt.”
31. Allow your toddler to gently touch your face as they say, “Sowee! Can I have a lollipop?”
32. Hand over the lollipop bag and let them pick one.
33. Break the news that blue lollipops are all gone.
34. Prepare for the inevitable “Why?”
35. Remind them they devoured all the blue ones in one day.
36. Explain that you can’t run out for more because dinner is in progress.
37. Reinforce that throwing lollipops—especially the whole bag—is a no-go.
38. Try to redirect their energy.
39. Ask if they’d like to help set the table.
40. Watch them zoom toward the cutlery drawer.
41. Quickly season your fish or meat while they gather forks.
42. Preheat the oven.
43. Praise them for a great job setting the utensils.
44. Ask them to fetch the napkins next.
45. Sneakily fix the forks while they’re distracted.
46. Turn around to find they’ve spotted your fork adjustments.
47. Hold your breath as your frustrated toddler approaches.
48. Remind them that silverware is not for throwing.
49. Duck when necessary.
50. Comfort them again.
51. Ask if they’ll help pick up the forks.
52. Thank them for being such a good helper.
53. Offer a tissue as they head to get one.
54. Use this moment to fold the napkins that fell during the tantrum.
55. Add the potatoes to the boiling water.
56. Suggest watching Doc McStuffins.
57. Explain outdoor playtime isn’t possible right now.
58. Offer Mickey Mouse Clubhouse as an alternative.
59. Wonder why you can’t have a toddler who just enjoys some TV time.
60. Invite them to help dry lettuce in the salad spinner.
61. After five minutes of spinning, tell them the spinner needs a nap.
62. Let them taste the lettuce.
63. Remind them we don’t spit food in this house.
64. Ask them to grab a napkin to clean up the leafy mess.
65. Realize you’ve made a mistake bringing up napkins again.
66. Watch them stomp over to the table.
67. See them notice the napkins are already placed.
68. Observe as they crumple each napkin and toss them on the floor.
69. Ask if they feel better now.
70. Try to comfort them once more.
71. Apologize for the napkin situation, saying it was a silly mistake on your part.
72. Gently pat their back.
73. Suggest putting the napkins back on the table.
74. Watch them carefully place the crumpled napkins back.
75. Rinse the cucumbers and tomatoes.
76. Slice the cucumbers and tomatoes.
77. Ask if they want to help with the mashed potatoes.
78. Pray for a “no” answer.
79. Fake a smile when they enthusiastically say “yes.”
80. Help them drag a chair over to the counter.
81. Caution them that the potatoes are hot.
82. Get out the milk and butter.
83. Pull out the potato masher.
84. Drain the potatoes and transfer to a mixing bowl.
85. Let your toddler start mashing the hot potatoes.
86. Politely ask for a turn after a minute.
87. Warn them you’ll count to three if they don’t share the masher.
88. Count to three.
89. Comfort your toddler as you finish mashing the potatoes.
90. Add milk and butter to the mix.
91. Keep trying to calm your toddler while seasoning the lukewarm mash.
92. Let them sprinkle in extra salt—okay, a lot of extra salt.
93. Toss the salad together.
94. Call the other kids down for dinner.
95. Give your family a disapproving look when they question the crumpled napkins and cold mashed potatoes.
96. And then, suddenly remember you forgot to cook the main protein!

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