Before tying the knot, it’s easy to believe your partner is practically perfect. Their looks are captivating, their little habits are charming, and any mention of bodily functions? What bodily functions? This is the blissful naiveté of early romance. But let’s face it: if your relationship has issues before saying “I do,” it’s unlikely to improve once the wedding cake is gone, the drinks are finished, and your pristine dress looks like it survived a food fight.
As time goes by, life’s ups and downs, and maybe a few kids, can blur the initial sparkle in your relationship. Comfort sets in, and you discover your partner’s true self. Here’s a list of some quirky truths I’ve learned to accept—mostly to avoid the prospect of life behind bars or the thought of re-entering the dating scene in my mid-thirties. Plus, love means embracing the good, the bad, and everything in between.
- Hair grows in the strangest places. One day, I looked at my spouse and wondered: how can he have thick black hair sprouting from his ears and nostrils but none on his head?
- Video games: a mystery to me. When we first got hitched, my husband would blast video games solo for hours on end. I still can’t grasp their allure.
- The sound of his chewing is maddening. Before marriage, I never noticed that my partner chews like a wild animal. My heightened sensitivity to eating noises amplifies every slurp and chomp, driving me to distraction.
- Nighttime baby deafness is real. My husband has an uncanny ability to sleep through the baby’s cries, while my senses seem to sharpen when my milk comes in.
- His bathroom habits take forever. Everyone has to go, sure. But my husband turns his morning bathroom visits into a lengthy ritual, often bringing his phone along for what feels like an eternity.
- Toilet etiquette is essential. While many women complain about raised toilet seats, my concern is about flushing. A news segment I watched years ago left me with a lasting impression. I now remind my family to close the lid before flushing, asking, “Do you enjoy eating poop?”
- An early riser in every sense. My husband’s morning routine starts with a not-so-subtle poke to my backside at sunrise. When the sun rises, so do his intentions!
- Passing gas in bed? Guilty as charged. My digestive system can be a ticking time bomb, and sometimes, late-night operations lead to hazardous leaks. I hope he’s asleep when it happens, and thankfully, he usually is—though I suspect he’s just pretending.
These are the realities of long-term love: nobody’s perfect, and you learn to live with each other’s quirks for the sake of love, to avoid the prison life, or the midlife dating scene. All of it is worth it because really, who wants to face that kind of scary situation?
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In summary, love can be messy, loud, and full of surprises. But those quirks? They’re part of the adventure.