Dear Young Grocery Store Clerk,
I think a little refresher on customer service etiquette is in order.
The other day, I rolled up to the register, lugging my Bota boxes of wine, ready to enjoy a rare evening of adult time. As I dug for my ID in my overflowing bag, you hit that little button, and the screen flashed: “Cashier Has Bypassed Age Validation.”
In other words: You think I’m old.
According to the store’s rules, anyone under the age of 30 needs to show ID when purchasing alcohol. So, from your youthful perspective, I must resemble someone in their thirties. This can’t be right—you really should consider a trip to the eye doctor.
Take a note from your more seasoned colleagues. They kindly ask for proof of age, fully aware that I’ve earned every drop of that wine—not just by law, but by living life. But you? You seemed to think, “Let’s rush this old woman through.” You must have noticed the dark circles from sleepless nights with a toddler or the frazzled look on my face while I tried to distract my 5-year-old from that tempting candy display at the register. Instead of offering me a moment of grace, you opted for a quick exit strategy. “Why has she let herself go?” you probably wondered.
Listen, young one, with your fast metabolism and thick hair, don’t give me that look of pity as if I’m some tragic tale of woe. I know exactly how I appear in my gym clothes, hair falling out of my ponytail, while corralling two crumb-covered kids. Think of me as a sneak peek into your future because believe it or not, I was once a bright-eyed kid with dreams. And that was just a few weeks ago, or so it feels!
You don’t get to decide how old I look. I’m quite sure I haven’t aged a day over 28 in several years. Sure, I don’t look 21, but maybe I could pass for under 30? Throw a gal a bone! I get it—youth is fleeting, but just a little acknowledgment that I’m trying to keep it together would go a long way.
Let’s be honest: People who can’t even drive yet can’t accurately judge the age of adults. This is a life lesson! If you think “Friends” is retro, you’re definitely not on the same wavelength as the rest of us. And since you need us older folks for support in more ways than one, perhaps it’s time to revisit your perception of what 30 really looks like.
Sure, I might feign annoyance as I wrestle the ID from my stuffed wallet, rolling my eyes at the “inconvenience,” but inside, I’m secretly delighted. One: My gray roots must not be as visible as I thought. Two: All that money spent on anti-aging products might be worth it! And three: Maybe I’m just babysitting these little rascals, and their real mother is on her way to rescue me!
To sum it up, my dear young clerk, it wouldn’t hurt to card me next time. You might just make a thirtysomething’s day by helping her hold onto that fleeting youthful fantasy.
Warmly,
A Woman Somewhere Between 28 and 40