My mom was anything but conventional. She had a loud, unapologetic personality, and her advice could be, well, a bit offbeat (but certainly unforgettable). Yet, among her quirky lessons, one stands out as both profound and challenging: she taught me how to talk about myself.
As a bookish tween who gravitated towards Woody Allen films—definitely not your typical 11-year-old—I leaned heavily on self-deprecating humor. I thought it was working; my friends seemed to enjoy it, until my mom dropped this bombshell: “When you constantly put yourself down, people will remember the negatives, but not who said them.”
The source? Me. How could they not connect the dots?
“I’m just joking,” I protested.
“It doesn’t matter. They won’t remember it was you who said it, and they won’t even recall that it was funny,” she countered.
I pondered this. I could visualize the scenario: “Should we invite Laurie to the gathering? Nah, she gets all awkward at parties.” Maybe she had a point. Then she added something that really hit home: “The opposite is also true. If you speak positively about yourself, people will forget who said it.”
Fascinating.
Years later, while working as an assistant at a media company, I found myself surrounded by writers and actors landing gigs I coveted. “I’m on the wrong side of this,” I thought. When someone asked what I wanted to do, I mentioned my aspiration to be a writer, but felt invisible in that role. He replied, “Just keep telling people you’re a writer. Eventually, someone who hasn’t even seen your work will take a chance on you.”
It was as if my mom’s wisdom echoed through the halls of the office.
Of course, my mom’s advice needed reinforcement—like the time she suggested using an ice cream scoop for muffin batter, and I shrugged it off until a celebrity chef said the same thing. “Didn’t I tell you that ages ago?” I can almost hear her saying now.
Bobby Flay was right, my colleague was right, and, naturally, my mom was right long before both of them. A few months after I began declaring myself a writer, I landed my first two paid gigs from people who had never read my work before.
“Laurie’s a writer, isn’t she?”
You bet she is.
So take my mother’s advice to heart. Avoid labeling yourself as ugly, foolish, or awkward. Don’t crack jokes about your shortcomings, especially to those who don’t really know you. Instead, occasionally share what you’re good at or what you aspire to be, because they might forget you were the one who said it and open doors for you to pursue your passions. And remember to listen to your mom—don’t wait for a celebrity chef to validate her insights.
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In summary, my journey of self-promotion began with my mother’s unconventional wisdom. She taught me the importance of how I present myself to the world, emphasizing the need to speak positively about who I am and what I aspire to be.