“I would give anything for a vacation!” is a phrase I’ve heard countless times from fellow moms. And honestly, who can blame us? Whether we’re juggling work or managing the chaos at home, every mom, including me, craves a little breather now and then. A mental getaway from the whirlwind of family life. And since we all know our mom friends are in the same boat, what’s better than taking a little trip together on a girls’ getaway?
When I floated the idea to my partner, he enthusiastically responded, “Sounds great! You absolutely deserve it. Go have fun with your friends!” With a heart full of excitement, I began crafting an email to my girlfriends, detailing the perfect plan: spa treatments, lounging by the pool, endless chats, and, of course, plenty of wine.
However, my enthusiasm quickly faded when I received their replies.
- “I’d love to join, but I’ve never spent a night away from Max. I just don’t think I can handle it.”
- “That sounds amazing, but I can’t be away from the kids.”
- “A night away from my little one might be too much for me. How about we just have dinner instead?”
- “Oh, I could never leave my kids for a weekend. Sorry!”
Just like that, my vision of a fun-filled weekend with old friends vanished, leaving me questioning my own maternal instincts and priorities.
Guilt began to creep in. Is it wrong that I long for a short break from my kids? Should I really want to be by their side 24/7? Do I love my kids less than my friends love theirs?
Let’s clarify something: I’m not looking to escape every month, but perhaps once a year sounds reasonable, right?
When I considered all the reasons I might not be able to go on a girls’ trip, the last thing I expected was to find myself without a travel buddy. Sure, some might cite lack of time, money, or childcare as barriers, but I was fortunate enough to have an extended weekend off, personal savings, and an awesome partner willing to take care of the kids.
One friend elaborated, “I just don’t know any other moms who would feel okay leaving their kids for a weekend.” Ouch. So, it seems I’m not only the odd one out in my small circle but perhaps among all moms. Talk about feeling the weight of parental judgment.
As I battled with these feelings, my defensiveness kicked in, and the truth became clear: I love my kids just as deeply as any other mom. In fact, during the few nights I’ve been away from them, I’ve shed tears leaving and spent most of my time thinking about them. Just because I have a different parenting approach doesn’t make me a bad mother; it simply highlights that every mom has her own unique way of doing things.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions about the myriad of hot-button parenting issues. Labeling other moms as helicopter parents or control freaks only adds to the guilt we all feel. Just as I cringe at the thought of someone saying, “I can’t believe you can be away from your kids,” I’m sure others feel the sting when they hear, “You’re missing out on life by not leaving your kids.”
So, do I love my kids less than my friends love theirs? The answer is simple: love has no single definition. It encompasses many forms. For some, it means being present with their kids every moment. For others, it means taking some time for themselves to recharge. Either way, love is not up for debate.
Now, if only I could solve my vacation dilemma… Anyone interested in a girls’ weekend?
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Summary:
In the quest for self-care, many moms find themselves facing guilt over wanting to take a break from their children. While some may feel apprehensive about leaving their kids, it’s essential to remember that love comes in many forms. Everyone has different ways of showing it, and taking time for oneself can be just as valuable as time spent with family. So, if you’re in the mood for a getaway, don’t hesitate to plan that girls’ weekend!