When I first became a parent, the idea of having a “tween” was something that never crossed my mind. To be honest, I didn’t even know the term until recently! I was prepared for the toddler years, the school age, and even the teenage phase, but that in-between period—where kids are not quite kids but not yet teens—totally slipped through my fingers. Just last week, it hit me: my daughter, Lily, is officially a tween!
Lily is now in fifth grade. There was a time when I worried that her emotions were too transparent, but now she’s more of a mystery. Sometimes, she’ll sit next to me in the car, showering me with affection, while other times she’s lost in her own world, jamming to her favorite tunes with those earbuds in, seemingly unaware of my presence. She dotes on her younger siblings one moment and seeks solitude the next. It’s a whirlwind of emotions—she even folds her arms across her body when she changes clothes and asks me deep questions about life and feelings.
Last year, Lily initiated “The Talk,” which made me rethink how I communicate with her, including my own body language. I’ve tried to maintain a balance of openness, discussing everything from menstruation to the ups and downs of friendships. But no matter how much I prepare, things rarely go as planned.
On her half-birthday, she quietly nestled into the armchair, a moment that would go unnoticed by most. I walked by, gently tracing her shoulder. “Are you OK?” I asked. She nodded solemnly, her icy blue eyes reflecting a hint of something deeper.
I poured myself a coffee and let her bask in the morning calm. Just as I was about to head into the kitchen, she spoke up. “Mom, I feel gross.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to understand.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “Maybe it’s just… I feel icky or itchy or just gross. Sometimes I get upset over nothing, and it makes me feel bad about not wanting to be around my sisters.”
Her honesty was both heartbreaking and relatable. “How about a shower?” I suggested. “Sometimes that helps.”
“But I took a bath last night,” she replied quietly.
“That’s fine! I’ve taken two showers in a day before. Sometimes just standing under the water helps wash away those bad feelings.”
She considered it. “Can I take another bath instead?”
“Absolutely! Or I can set the shower for you, and you can just let the water wash over you. No need to worry about washing your hair, just let it flow. What do you think?”
“I’d like to try that,” she said, and we went upstairs hand-in-hand.
As she soaked, I busied myself with lunches. When she finally emerged, she looked different—lighter, almost as if some of that weight had been lifted. “Feeling better?” I asked.
“Yeah, a bit,” she said, her voice soft.
“Do you ever feel empty inside?” she asked suddenly.
“All the time,” I admitted, recalling the times I had felt that way too.
“I get this urge to cry, but I don’t even know why,” she confessed.
Navigating the complexities of emotions in tweens is a challenge. It’s tough to balance honesty about life’s challenges with the desire to shield them from harsh realities. I wanted to tell her that it’s okay to feel sad, that it’s a part of life, but I also wanted to preserve her childhood innocence.
“It’s okay to feel that way sometimes,” I reassured her. “You don’t have to feel happy all the time.”
She looked down, a mix of emotions playing across her face. “Can I have a hug?”
“Of course!” I said, gathering her into my arms, feeling the strength in her small frame. In that moment, I realized that while she may be growing up, a part of that little girl I once held would always be there.
Letting go doesn’t mean losing touch; it can also mean sharing warm hugs and insightful conversations.
If you’re navigating similar waters with your own tween, consider checking out resources on emotional well-being and parenting at News Medical. For those interested in starting a family, Make A Mom offers amazing insights into home insemination kits. And for more tips on parenting through these challenging moments, visit Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, supporting your sad tween may sometimes mean giving them the space they need to navigate their feelings. It’s important to create an open environment where they can express themselves without fear of judgment. The journey through adolescence is filled with ups and downs, but with a little patience and understanding, you’ll both come out stronger on the other side.