Ah, remember when friendships were at the forefront of your life? Those carefree days are often overshadowed by work commitments, family obligations, kids, and the occasional existential crisis sparked by grocery shopping. Yet, the value of true friendship remains unchanged. Who else can you call when you’ve got a footwear crisis before a funeral? Or who will console you when your child declares that they can’t stand you? And let’s not forget the friends who share your grief when a beloved ’80s star leaves us.
Navigating friendships in your 40s is a different ball game than it was in your youth. As our kids grow, so do our relationships. We crave less drama and more resilience, but time is scarce, and perhaps we find ourselves feeling a bit more anxious. So, here’s my lighthearted guide to forging and maintaining friendships in your fabulous 40s.
Steer Clear of the Perfect Moms
You know the type. She’s always impeccably dressed, her kids are culinary geniuses, and her Instagram feed is a highlight reel of her perfect life. Avoid her like the plague—she’s more of a drama queen than you realize!
Lower Your Expectations
The Cut’s “Friends Forever” week has some fun ideas about adjusting your standards for friend meet-ups. Grocery shopping side-by-side might not be as glamorous as a long dinner, but hey, when you only have an hour, you make every moment count.
Let Go of Some Baby Group Friends
Those moms who helped you survive the sleep-deprived early days of motherhood were great at the time, but if your conversations now feel like a struggle, it’s perfectly fine to move on. You’ve both grown, and that’s okay!
Get Real
Sure, talking about toddler milestones is easy, but as your kids hit those tricky teen years, it’s vital to share your struggles. Admitting that your teenager is a handful or that your tween is acting out can be a relief. You’ll find solidarity in shared experiences.
Practice Forgiveness
By now, you may have exchanged a few unkind words with friends (and they with you). Instead of dwelling on past misunderstandings, focus on the present. True friends forgive, while the rest can stay connected through social media.
Master a Casserole and a Dessert
Life can get tough in your 40s—illness, relationship changes, and loss can weigh heavily. Being the friend who delivers a comforting meal or a sweet treat can make a world of difference during tough times.
Avoid the Hipsters
Sure, they seem cool with their tattoos and trendy lifestyles, but if you feel like their vibe is too young for you, don’t force it. You’re in a different phase of life now.
Pick Up the Phone
Remember those long chats on the landline? Why not revive that tradition? A genuine phone conversation beats a string of emoji-filled texts any day.
Prioritize Quality Over Quantity
While it’s nice to know everyone at the school drop-off, the real treasure lies in the friends who will be there for you during life’s big moments—like when your parents get sick or your kids leave home.
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Channel your inner youth! Hit the dance floor, let loose, and create those funny stories that become the glue of friendship.
Don’t Hesitate to Make New Friends
Contrary to popular belief, it’s never too late to find a lifelong friend. You never know when a kindred spirit might cross your path—be it at a local hockey game, a coffee shop, or an art class. Friends add vibrancy to life, and you need someone to tell you when it’s time for a haircut!
This article once delighted readers back on April 25, 2015, but the wisdom it holds is timeless.
Summary
Friendships in your 40s take on new forms and meanings as life gets more complex. It’s essential to adapt your expectations, let go of outdated relationships, be open and forgiving, and find joy in the friendships that truly matter. Keep your heart open to new connections while cherishing the bonds that have weathered life’s storms.