I couldn’t binge-watch those episodes fast enough! It had been ages since I last thought of them, yet suddenly I found myself reciting lines verbatim while glued to my computer screen. Growing up, my generation was treated to performances by stars like Anthony Kiedis, Vince Vaughn, Jodie Foster, and Leif Garrett as they tackled sensitive subjects such as bullying, addiction, sexual harassment, and divorce. These young actors managed to look effortlessly cool while delivering cringeworthy lines, navigating absurd plot twists, and creating drama that would make even a soap opera star green with envy.
Blindfolded Insight
Kicking off my nostalgia trip was the episode “Blind Sunday.” This one featured a teen named Jeff who, in a quest to understand his blind girlfriend better, decides to spend an entire day blindfolded. Kudos for the effort, Jeff, but do you even realize how silly you look? Luckily, she doesn’t seem to mind—otherwise, the episode might have ended with her pushing you into traffic!
Pregnancy Questions
Next up was “My Mom’s Having a Baby,” where a curious ten-year-old seeks the truth about how babies are made. It reminded me of the time my eight-year-old daughter asked me the same thing while I was nine months pregnant with her little brother. Naturally, I told her I swallowed a bean, and it sprouted into a baby. The real story? Well, let’s just say it involved a bar, a rather tipsy decision, and my husband being pulled into the women’s restroom—definitely not my proudest moment!
Understanding Teenagers
Following that was “Where Do Teenagers Come From?” which perfectly encapsulated the struggles of a 12-year-old girl trying to make sense of her changing body. This episode would have been beneficial just a few weeks ago. Instead, I stood in shock as I handed my now 11-year-old daughter a towel after her shower. “Oh, sweetie,” I exclaimed. “Look at that! You have hair down there! How adorable!” She bolted from the bathroom and didn’t speak to me for days.
Parenting Class Shenanigans
I couldn’t stop there and downloaded “The First Egg.” In this episode, high school students are tasked with the challenge of ‘parenting’ an egg. I can easily picture my daughter today: she gets her egg, drops it immediately, blames her brother (who is conveniently not even around), and then goes back to binging Netflix on her iPad.
Clowns and Stuttering
Then came two of my absolute favorites. “Alexander” tells the tale of a retired clown and his unwavering affection for children—what could possibly go wrong there? This was swiftly followed by “The Skating Rink,” which addressed the common issue of stuttering among American teens in the late ’70s. Of course, our hero Tom eventually conquers his shyness to become a world-class figure skater!
Mock Marriages
Next up was “Make Believe Marriage,” where high school students partner up to experience the mundane tasks of married life. If anyone from my generation had paid attention to this episode, I can confidently say that none of us would be married today. “Hey, darling, it’s a beautiful Saturday! Let’s kick it off with a little suburban Olympics—first up, grocery shopping, then to Home Depot, soccer practice, the dry cleaners, then home to feed the kids, bathe them, vacuum, pay bills, and crash by 9 p.m. watching Dateline. Doesn’t that sound romantic, kids?”
One glaring absence in these episodes aired from 1972 to 1997 was any mention of gay teens. Not a single episode. Bravo, ABC! You managed to dedicate a whole show to a depressed clown while completely ignoring the existence of LGBTQ+ youth. I can just picture poor Tom skating around the rink, yelling, “Hey, folks, I don’t care about my stutter!”
The Shocking Revelation
Finally, I wrapped up with “The Unforgivable Secret,” which tells the story of a 15-year-old girl who discovers that her “deceased” father is very much alive. It triggered memories of my childhood dog, Pepi. At seven, I was told that Pepi had run away to join a gang of neighborhood dogs. Fast forward to age 14, and I mentioned it to my mom during an errand run. “You nitwit,” she said. “We put Pepi to sleep; he was blind, deaf, and kept running into walls.” Unforgivable, indeed!
I thoroughly enjoyed this stroll down memory lane, but I think I’ll keep the rest of those episodes as cherished memories. Unless, of course, I’m feeling adventurous tonight—maybe I’ll see if my husband is up for reenacting scenes from “Dinky Hocker,” the story of a food-obsessed teen. “Well hello there, Mister! I think your turkey drumstick would fit perfectly in my self-cleaning oven!” Or maybe I’ll just skip the food references altogether.
In the end, revisiting these classics was a delightful trip back to my childhood, but some things are best left in the past. If you’re curious about navigating your own parenting journey, check out our other blog posts, such as this one on home insemination, which offers great insights. For those on a fertility journey, this resource is invaluable. And for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is a fantastic choice.
Summary
ABC’s Afterschool Specials offered a unique blend of teenage drama and lessons on serious topics. From blindfolded adventures to the awkwardness of discussing puberty, these episodes were a nostalgic reminder of growing up. While some content missed key aspects of diversity, they still provided entertainment and lessons that many parents can relate to today.