Ever since I hit my 20s, I envisioned having meaningful conversations with my future child. That’s how I connect with others. So when my daughter, Lily, finally started chatting with me, I was over the moon.
But as life goes, it’s a mixed bag. While discussing the epic moments of a superhero movie is amazing, there are certain things Lily, now 5 and a half, says that really get under my skin. The “good mom” in me usually responds with patience, but the “real mom” wants to roll her eyes. Here’s a glimpse of both sides:
1. “Mommy, will you play with me?”
It’s Saturday morning, and I’ve barely had time to wake up with just one cup of coffee down.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: (sighs) What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Good Mommy: What kind of store?
Lily: Jewelry and other stuff. I’ll set it up, then you come in and buy whatever you want. ‘Kay?
Good Mommy: Can we just do a puzzle?
Lily: C’mon! It’ll be fun.
Good Mommy: (exhaling) OK.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, will you play with me?
Real Mommy: What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Real Mommy: Ugh, no! I can’t stand imaginative play. It drags on forever, and I just want to chill on the couch with a magazine, not pretend to buy a bunch of junk!
2. “My butt itches.”
This tends to happen when we’re rushing to school, surrounded by other families.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: Okay, sweetie. We’ll fix it as soon as we get to school.
Lily: (crying) No! Mommy, please!
Good Mommy: (turning us away from traffic) Alright, let’s just wipe it quickly.
(She nods.)
Good Mommy: Better?
Lily: Yes.
Good Mommy: I know, honey. It’s not fun having an itchy butt.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Real Mommy: Sorry, but you’ll have to wait until we get to school.
(Crying intensifies.)
Real Mommy: First off, calm down! I don’t get how your butt can be itchy after I wiped it a thousand times last night. Plus, I look like a total weirdo wiping your butt in public!
3. “Why are you being so mean?”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: Remember when I said I get tired when you don’t cooperate? You’re taking too long to get ready, and I really need to go to bed.
Lily: But you don’t have to be mean to me.
Good Mommy: You’re right. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
Lily: Yes.
(They hug.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Me: Because I’m exhausted from working all day just to put food on the table! All I want is to relax, not deal with your antics when I’m trying to tuck you in!
4. “I love you so, so much.”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Oh, thank you, sweetie. I love you so, so much too.
(Truth: I actually adore this one, but it tugs at my heartstrings.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, I love you so, so much.
Me: Can we just stick to “I love you”?
Lily: Why?
Me: Because when you say “so, so much,” it makes me panic about dying early and how you’d handle it. That thought makes me want to cry.
Despite those heavy thoughts, I’m grateful for the conversations we share, even when they lead to unexpected places. If you’re interested in more about family life, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And for those looking into self insemination options, you can find the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit to help you along your journey. And if you have questions or want to connect, feel free to reach out here.
In summary, parenting is a rollercoaster of emotions, where joy often collides with frustration, but the love always shines through.