It seems that pacifiers are one of those hot-button topics in parenting that everyone has an opinion about. If someone spots a child who appears “too old” to be sucking on one or still riding in a stroller, it’s like they feel compelled to share their thoughts, as if parents aren’t already juggling a million things. Why should we have to fret about using tools designed to make our lives easier?
Recently, a parenting site tackled the question, “My baby won’t give up his pacifier: Should I be worried?” And the short answer? Not really. The longer response suggests that if you can wean your child off the pacifier between six months and a year, it’s typically smoother. If you can’t manage that, aim to ditch it by age four to prevent potential dental and speech issues. Four years old—sounds comforting, right? Most of the moms I talk to who worry about pacifier use often have kids around a year old.
So why do we stress about this? I’d wager it’s the judgment that comes with certain parenting decisions, especially those involving items that soothe our little ones. My first child absolutely adored his pacifier; he even has a beloved pillow he can’t sleep without. Some kids form stronger attachments to comfort items and find it tougher to let go. Before he was born, I heard all the “self-soothing” warnings but still opted for the pacifier. Better safe than sorry, right? I was over the moon to have it on that first night in the hospital when he wailed uncontrollably. I popped it right in and never looked back.
I never considered whether it was socially acceptable for toddlers to use pacifiers. He liked it, so I let him be. However, a passive-aggressive remark from another mom made me rethink that. When he was about 15 months old, we were standing in line at the bookstore restroom when a woman emerged from a stall with her daughter and remarked, “Oh look. A toddler with a pacifier.”
What? First off, never talk to someone else through their child; that’s an award-winning level of passive aggression. Secondly, why does it matter to you how long another mom lets her kid use a pacifier? I stood there, bewildered. It baffled me why someone would feel entitled to comment publicly, especially in such a peculiar way.
The tools you choose to navigate parenting are your business alone. Whether your child uses a pacifier says nothing about your parenting skills. My second child had zero interest in a pacifier or any comfort object. I parented both of them the same way, so don’t beat yourself up if your kid clings to something a bit longer. Some experts even suggest that if you take away a pacifier too soon, your child might resort to thumb-sucking or find a different comfort item.
In summary, if you feel your toddler’s pacifier use is getting excessive, there are plenty of strategies to help wean them off it. But if your doubts stem only from others’ opinions, let it go!
For more parenting insights, check out some of our other posts, like the one on home insemination for a broader understanding of family planning. Also, if you’re seeking authoritative guidance on this topic, visit Make a Mom for quality resources. And for comprehensive information about fertility and pregnancy, don’t miss the excellent podcast from Cleveland Clinic.