As someone who has always danced to the beat of my own drum in the parenting world, I find myself often wading in the waters of what might be considered “non-traditional.” You know me—I’m the mom who carries her three-year-old in a vibrant Guatemalan wrap, while the mainstream crowd wheels their little ones around in fancy Bugaboos (which, let’s be honest, cost an arm and a leg). I was all about cloth diapers back in the day when they were still pinned and covered in plastic, with the remnants tossed into a bleach-water pail. Yes, it was as gross as it sounds—definitely not your average “norm.”
These days, being a bit of a hippie is the new cool. But when I talk about “hippie,” I’m not referring to the patchouli-scented folks rocking cut-off shorts and jamming to Janis Joplin while passing around a joint. I’m talking about an approach to parenting that I embraced long before it was trendy, a style that has evolved alongside my children. Looking back, I’ve realized that some of my seemingly brilliant ideas were actually destined for failure. So, if you’re considering the hippie parenting route, here are some realities to keep in mind.
Carob Chips: The Great Impostor
First off, let’s talk about carob chips. Spoiler alert: they’re no substitute for chocolate. They’re imposters dressed in chocolate’s clothing, and if your kids ever get a taste of the real deal, those carob chips will likely end up in the compost pile. Trust me, once they’ve experienced true chocolate, there’s no going back. And honestly, I haven’t found an organic “hippie” chip that kids will devour. The selection may be improving, but if your child has a choice between a black bean/brown rice/turnip chip and a Dorito, guess which one is going to win? So, if your little one is adventurous enough, I present you with turnip chips, a delicious nod to your incredible hippie parenting skills.
The Toilet Paper Dilemma
Now, let’s tackle the subject of toilet paper. In a moment of eco-consciousness, I thought ditching toilet paper was the way to go. After all, think of all the trees! So, I crafted reusable wipes, cutting and sewing squares of flannel with great enthusiasm. I even filled up an old ketchup bottle with lavender-scented soap for butt-cleaning. However, my teenage kids were less than thrilled about my green initiative. Apparently, the idea of wiping their behinds with something that can’t be flushed is just too much for them to handle.
The Hair Removal Saga
And then there’s the hair removal saga. It’s perfectly fine if you choose not to shave your armpits, legs, or bikini line—just make sure your kids don’t have to witness it. A trip to the pool can become mortifying when you lift your arm or stand up, revealing a patch of rebellious hair. Trying to convince them you’re “artistic and mysterious like a French girl” won’t cut it. They simply don’t care about your aesthetic ideals; all they want is for you to look clean and normal.
So there you have it—some of the lesser-known truths of hippie parenting. If you’re embarking on this journey, be prepared for a few surprises along the way. And if you want to dive deeper into the world of home insemination, check out this resource for valuable insights, or learn more about artificial insemination kits from Make A Mom. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary
Hippie parenting is a unique approach that often leads to unexpected challenges, from kids rejecting carob chips to the realities of reusable toilet wipes and hair removal dilemmas. Embracing this style requires a sense of humor and an understanding that not everything will go as planned.