Motherhood can be a whirlwind of chaos and joy. You’re on call 24/7, perpetually tired, and the concept of a vacation often translates to a new level of exhaustion. With all the demands of parenting, it’s no wonder a glass of wine can start to look pretty appealing. But to keep things in moderation, I’ve established a few fun guidelines to help decide when it’s time to pour that glass.
Here are twelve signs it might be the perfect moment to indulge:
- If the total minutes of your naps, divided by the number of kiddos under five, lands below 60.
- You’ve hit the Poop Rule of Twos: in any hour, you’ve either (1) interacted with poop for at least two minutes; (2) talked about it for a minimum of four minutes; or (3) let it occupy your thoughts for eight minutes or more.
- Your child has had a timeout that involved you physically restraining the door to keep them inside for even a second. Actually, let’s just say your child has experienced a timeout.
- It’s a snow day or a sick day. And by sick, we mean anything from a cough to a minor splinter. Let’s be honest, a trip to the ER definitely earns you some wine privileges for the week!
- If “Mommy!” or “Mommy?” has echoed at least 27 times in the last half hour, it’s time to treat yourself.
- You’re in the kitchen making dinner. Whether it’s gourmet or just a plate of mac & cheese, anything with cheese qualifies. Cheese sticks? Wine, please!
- You had to go to work today—yes, working from home counts! And absolutely, being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job too.
- You’re unloading the dishwasher and simply can’t be bothered to put the wine glasses away.
- You need some corks for a crafty project.
- You require a little inspiration for that cork craft project.
- There’s already an open bottle of wine waiting for you, or you just realized you missed opening one last night.
- It’s post-5 p.m. in any major city within five time zones from your location. And if it’s the weekend? No worries, as long as your drink has a little fizz!
So there you have it! These lighthearted rules may help you enjoy that well-deserved glass of wine without guilt. For more parenting wisdom, check out this piece on privacy policies or visit Make a Mom for expert advice on home insemination. Additionally, the ASRM is a fantastic resource for all things pregnancy-related.
In summary, motherhood can be overwhelming, but a little humor and relaxation can go a long way. Recognizing when you might need a break is key to maintaining your sanity and enjoying the journey.