As a mom of twins, I’ve come to realize just how much people adore twins. I mean, who wouldn’t be fascinated? Two little bundles of joy, at the same time! I’ve mastered the art of the polite smile that says, “Yes, they’re twins, isn’t that delightful? Now, please let’s wrap this up!” But sometimes, folks choose to stick around a little longer and say things that really get under my skin. So, if you’re ever in a grocery store and spot a mom with a double stroller, remember these tips on what to avoid saying.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Oh, a boy and a girl? Are they identical?”
Let’s break it down, shall we? Identical twins come from a single egg that splits into two — they’re clones. My kids look nothing alike, and they’re different genders! They’re about as identical as any brother and sister can be — which is to say, not at all! We’ve never had to guess who is who; a quick peek at their diapers would give that away. In short, having fraternal twins is like having two siblings born at the exact same time.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Next time you encounter a boy-girl twin duo, try this: “Fraternal twins! How lovely!” Not only will the mom appreciate your insight, but you’ll also score points for knowing the difference.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “I always wanted twins!”
Really? Because when I found out I was having twins, my thoughts were more like, “Oh no! Two babies at once! Twice the crying, feeding, and dirty diapers. Am I ever going to sleep again? It’s like Hunger Games, but with college decisions!” I adore my little ones more than I ever thought possible, but let me tell you, managing two at once can feel like a circus act on tough days.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!” You can express your fondness for twins without any hidden judgments. Win-win!
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Glad it’s you and not me!”
Yeah, okay. Two babies are a handful, and I get that you might be shocked at the thought of having multiples. But guess what? Twins can be absolutely wonderful! Those two little jokers who giggle and share secrets at night? Trust me, I wouldn’t trade places with anyone.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!” (Are you catching on to the theme here?)
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Two at once! Now you’re done, right?”
Did I miss a memo stating that having two kids means you’re “finished”? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works! What if I had dreams of a big family? Maybe I’m just getting started!
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Let’s say it together… “Fraternal twins! How lovely!”
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Are they natural twins?”
Please, just don’t go there. What does that even mean? As opposed to what? Artificial twins? Yes, fertility treatments can lead to multiples, but asking someone about their reproductive history is a no-go. It’s private, and it implies that some twins are better than others, which is simply not true. Unless I volunteer that information, just steer clear of the topic entirely.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Just say nothing and walk away. (But yes, “Fraternal twins! How lovely!” works here too.)
So, the next time you see me in the supermarket, feel free to say hello! Just please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t ask if my kids are identical.
For more insights on twins and parenting, check out this article on sample page from our other blog. Also, if you’re curious about home insemination, BabyMaker has fantastic resources. And for a deeper dive into fertility topics, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
In summary, while people love to engage with twin moms, it’s best to approach with sensitivity and awareness. A simple compliment about fraternal twins can go a long way!