Before I had my own munchkins, I was convinced that kids who acted out, seemed impolite, or did bizarre things must have some serious issues at home. Clearly, their parents were failing at the basics of raising civilized children. (If only I could travel back in time and give my past self a little reality check!) Now, I realize those kids were likely just being, well, kids, and their parents were just as bewildered by their antics as I am.
1. Tantrums Galore
What ever made me think parents could effortlessly curtail a toddler’s meltdown? It’s like trying to halt a runaway freight train. A freight train that’s very loud and totally out of control. You can attempt to soothe it with calming words, but let’s be real—it’s a freight train. Good luck with that!
2. Whining
I can’t even count how many times I’ve said “I can’t understand you when you whine” to my kids. It’s been approximately 5,273,926 times. Seriously, kids don’t whine because it’s effective; they do it because they enjoy the sound of their own whiny voices. It’s a phenomenon, perhaps inspired by that lovable character Caillou.
3. Ignoring Conversations
Two of my kids have mastered the art of non-responsiveness, despite countless discussions about how rude it is to tune people out. One of them seems to respond in her mind, while the other has perfected his Marshawn Lynch impression—he only replies when he feels like it. Shyness can be a tricky business.
4. Sleep Battles
Some nights, our youngest will lie in bed for what feels like forever—like two and a half hours—without drifting off. No joke. It doesn’t matter how active we keep him or how serene our bedtime routine is. The kid is just a night owl, plain and simple.
5. Volume Control? What’s That?
Some kids come equipped with zero volume control. Their voices can be piercing, even when they’re merely whispering. You could try to quiet them, but the only real solution might be to fashion a muzzle.
6. The Art of Fibbing
While one of our kiddos was born with a truth-telling compass, the others have dabbled in the classic childhood fibbing phase. I remember feeling shocked the first time one of them lied right to my face. Apparently, it’s a sign of intelligence. Sure, let’s roll with that rather than worry about them becoming sociopaths!
7. Nose-Picking Adventures
Every child I know engages in this delightful pastime—both at home and in public. Sure, they’ll eventually grow out of it, but until then, it’s like a never-ending battle. Sometimes, I catch them just sitting there with their fingers lodged in their nostrils, doing absolutely nothing. Charming, right?
8. Hand-Washing After Bathroom Breaks
From day one of potty training, washing hands was non-negotiable. We sang the ABCs and discussed germs like it was our job. Yet, it took a staggering six or seven years before they remembered to wash their hands consistently. Now I can add “expert hand-smeller” to my résumé.
9. Chewing Like a Cow
“Please chew with your mouth closed.”
Ten seconds later…
“Sweetheart, could you, um, chew with your mouth closed?”
Ten seconds later…
“Okay, honey, seriously. Let’s work on this habit.”
Ten seconds later…
“Why do you think it’s okay to chew like that?”
“Because I don’t do it at other people’s houses.”
Blank stare.
And we wonder why it feels like talking to a wall sometimes!
10. All the Other Gross Stuff
Not long ago, I visited a friend’s house and found my kid’s grimy socks on the kitchen counter. Yes, you read that right—socks on the kitchen counter. From one of my older kids, no less! And let’s not even get started on the kid who thought it was a good idea to lick every handrail at Disney World. I’m not even a germaphobe, but that made me want to gag.
Do we as parents teach our kids these habits? Not intentionally. Do they pick them up elsewhere? Perhaps. Do we put in the effort to instill good manners? Absolutely! Does it always pan out? Clearly not. It’s no wonder it takes at least 18 years to raise responsible, socially aware, and non-gross humans. Fingers crossed!
If you’re interested in more insights and experiences, check out our other blog post on home insemination.
Summary
Before becoming a parent, I had a laundry list of assumptions about misbehavior and rudeness being signs of bad parenting. However, through my own experiences, I’ve learned that many common childhood behaviors are simply part of growing up. From tantrums to the infamous nose-picking phase, parenting comes with a unique set of challenges that require patience and understanding. And while we strive to teach our kids proper manners, it’s clear that some things just take time—like learning to wash hands properly or chewing with their mouths closed.