“Life doesn’t just hand you what you want; you’ve got to work for it,” my father told me years ago as we cleaned up after dinner. While he dried the dishes, I organized them, likely still sulking about wanting a new video game or trendy shoes. With those words, he unwittingly taught me my first lesson in feminism: Embrace independence, take charge of your life, and steer your own ship. More importantly, he instilled in me the belief that I am just as deserving of respect and opportunities as anyone else.
As parents, we’re always imparting lessons—sometimes without even realizing it. Each interaction reveals our values and beliefs, shaping our children’s understanding of the world. It’s vital to keep our ideals at the forefront of our minds to ensure that the lessons we pass on align with those principles.
Although my family might resemble a scene from a vintage sitcom—my partner works while I care for our young children—I identify as a feminist because I stand firmly for equality. Even though I have two sons, it’s crucial for them to grasp the meaning of feminism and how gender equality manifests in our society. Gender inequality doesn’t just harm women; it affects everyone. As parents, it’s our duty to challenge the stereotypes and biases that society throws at our kids from an early age. We need to embed the values of feminism and equality into our family so that they naturally emerge in our everyday lives—during playdates, sports, and yes, even while washing the dishes.
While there are plenty of resources aimed at teaching feminist lessons to girls, I wanted to create something tailored specifically for raising boys. So, here’s my own take on raising feminist boys:
- Feminism is about equality, not femininity.
- Being a boy doesn’t exclude you from being a feminist; enjoying sports or action movies doesn’t change that either.
- It’s perfectly fine to express emotions, including tears—just do it respectfully.
- Forge friendships with girls.
- Interests aren’t gendered; girls can love trucks and superheroes, just as boys can enjoy tea parties and princesses.
- Dismiss phrases like “like a man” or “like a girl”—they’re meaningless.
- Embrace both strength and sensitivity; they can coexist beautifully.
- Your anatomy doesn’t grant you special rights; it simply makes you human.
- Opening doors for people is about kindness, not outdated gender roles; practice good manners all around.
- True beauty radiates from within, not just physical appearances.
- Show affection with thoughtful gestures like flowers or dinner—do it because it’s nice, not with ulterior motives.
- Wait until you’re both ready to be intimate, not because everyone else is.
- Understand that “no” always means no; silence or uncertainty does too.
- Surround yourself with those who uplift you, and be cautious of those who want to change you.
- Fair pay for fair work is a straightforward principle.
- Your identity goes beyond your gender, job, or possessions—be defined by your kindness and respect for others.
- If marriage comes, your partner’s last name choice has no bearing on your love for each other.
- Supporting your family goes beyond financial contributions.
- Make childcare decisions based on what’s best for your family, factoring in all aspects of life.
- Men can handle household tasks; society’s portrayal often misrepresents this.
- Don’t shy away from apologizing—it’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Recognize your privileges and advocate for those who lack them.
- Cultivate sensitivity, empathy, and compassion.
- Differences between sexes (and all people) exist, and that’s a positive aspect—celebrate them instead of generalizing.
- Carry these lessons forward, not because anyone needs special treatment, but to promote fairness and respect. Every little effort can contribute to a better world.
For more on nurturing healthy relationships and understanding family dynamics, check out our post on Intracervical Insemination. And for insights on male fertility, Make a Mom offers expert advice. If you’re passionate about pregnancy and family planning, Science Daily is a fantastic resource.
In summary, the journey of raising feminist boys is about instilling values of equality, respect, and kindness. These principles will not only shape their lives but will also contribute positively to the world around them.