“Oh dear, I apologize for being late! The traffic was just horrendous!” This is the standard excuse that rolls off my tongue whenever I find myself arriving late. In this chaotic world, it feels like there’s always somewhere I need to be, whether it’s a kids’ soccer match, a birthday bash, or a wedding. But please, don’t be so quick to judge! The reasons for my lateness are often much more entertaining. Here are some of the genuine culprits behind my tardiness:
- I spent way too long hunting for my sunglasses… which were perched on my head the whole time.
- Each of my kids managed to locate only one of their shoes.
- I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in a week, took some laxatives last night, and they chose the exact moment I was about to leave to kick in. And just to clarify, I NEVER go in public restrooms!
- I absolutely needed a Diet Coke, and even though the drive-thru line was wrapped around the building, it was SO worth being late for.
- My husband and I were in the midst of a spat, and I needed to calm my inner urge to strangle him before making our entrance.
- I had to wait for my Xanax to take effect.
- I misplaced my keys and turned my home upside down looking for them. I eventually found them in the same drawer I had already checked five times. In the chaos, I must have set them down again… and they vanished once more!
- The outfit I planned to wear was still in the washing machine.
- My son took 17 minutes to brush his teeth, mostly because he was busy making faces in the mirror and letting the water run.
- I did wake up on time, but I spent half an hour in bed scrolling through Facebook and “liking” everything.
- I forgot all the essentials I was supposed to bring and had to make a trip back home.
- Let’s be honest: I struggle with time management.
- I got sucked into a Golden Girls marathon, and that hilarious Sophia had me in stitches—I just had to finish the episode!
- I put on a pair of jeans that felt too snug, switched to leggings but couldn’t find the right shoes, and ended up tossing clothes around my closet while venting to my husband about everything except what was really bothering me.
- I lost track of my two-year-old for a moment.
- I didn’t want to be the first to arrive at a gathering, so I took the scenic route to avoid the awkwardness.
- I couldn’t find my cell phone because I was, ironically, talking on it.
- The baby decided to have a diaper explosion right as I was walking out the door, so I dropped everything to change him. Meanwhile, my older son had already kicked off his shoes and couldn’t locate them.
- My dog bolted out the front door, leading me on a wild chase around the neighborhood, while my kids wailed as if the world was about to end.
- Honestly, I’m just a hot mess who hasn’t quite figured it all out yet.
So, the next time you see a mom trying to muster up a smile despite running late, please don’t judge. Just smile sweetly and pretend you believe her excuse about traffic. She’s quite likely just another wonderfully chaotic mess navigating the wild ride of parenthood.
For more insights on navigating this journey, check out our other posts, like this one on intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for guidance on home insemination, Make a Mom is a trusted resource. And for more information on fertility and pregnancy, visit WomensHealth.gov.
Summary
Late again? Blame it on the kids, a wardrobe crisis, or a dog that decided to take a detour. Life’s chaos makes punctuality a challenge for many parents. Embracing the messiness of motherhood is all part of the fun!