You know that feeling when you witness a holiday hostess stressed out of her mind, fussing over every detail, and you can’t help but think, “Why can’t she just chill?” Yeah, I used to be that person—until I hosted my first Thanksgiving. Spoiler alert: It’s way harder than it looks!
Let’s be real: organizing a holiday gathering for a big group is a Herculean task. From whipping up delicious dishes for a crowd to making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease, it’s a lot! And trying to maintain an air of festive calm? Nearly impossible! Yet, that’s the standard we hold ourselves to, as if we’re all expected to channel the spirit of Martha Stewart while juggling flaming turkey drumsticks.
Thanksgiving is particularly unique. Guests arrive with a treasure trove of memories and expectations based on their family traditions—think specific recipes that have been passed down for generations. When I decided to host, I wanted everything to be perfect. I envisioned my friends and family savoring turkey so delicious it would make them weep with joy, all while I twirled around my living room in a fancy apron, exuding effortless charm.
So, I dove into research, reading everything about turkey roasting, the great brining debate (seriously, it could fuel a scientific conference), and the intricate science behind mashed potatoes. After hours of shopping, cleaning, chopping, and even a small oven mishap (which we’ll just gloss over), I was not exactly radiating holiday cheer when my guests finally arrived.
Imagine my surprise when my brother strolled in, bleary-eyed from travel, and opted for a nap over showering me with praise. Honestly, I was so burnt out from my culinary marathon that I couldn’t even muster the grace to let it slide. Instead of enjoying the holiday, I spent my time feeling annoyed.
And here’s the kicker: it’s totally unnecessary to feel this way! If you find yourself in the presence of an overwhelmed hostess, do her a favor and focus on having a good time. Don’t make faces or roll your eyes at any last-minute dish decisions.
The big takeaway? Don’t be that harried hostess striving for unattainable perfection. Embrace the idea of a potluck! Let your guests pitch in. If they ask how they can help, don’t hesitate to say, “Bring a dish!” or better yet, “Why not bring the whole meal?” Sharing the responsibility makes it more fun for everyone.
American culture has a tendency to overlook the value of domestic labor, which can leave well-meaning hosts feeling frazzled. This holiday season, let’s work on changing that narrative. If you want to whip up a few things, great! But there’s no harm in simplifying the process, too.
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In summary, let’s make this holiday season enjoyable for everyone by embracing a potluck approach. Share the workload, lighten the stress, and make room for laughter and connection instead of perfection.