As the holiday season approaches, children everywhere are eagerly anticipating the amazing toys they hope to receive. Meanwhile, parents are crossing their fingers that the gifts don’t send them over the edge of sanity by the time the New Year rolls around. If you’re planning to buy for little ones this year, be sure to steer clear of these five toy types that are sure to raise some red flags with their parents.
1. Toys That Produce Ear-Splitting Noises
It might seem like common sense, but people still think that gifting a kazoo to a child is a great idea. If you find yourself about to purchase a toy that sings, repeats phrases, or makes bizarre sounds (like a certain popular talking doll), please do me a favor. Buy the toy, take it to a small bathroom, and lock yourself in with it for 48 hours. Play that toy at five-minute intervals. If you’re still sane after that ordeal, maybe reconsider whether it’s a great gift or more like an instrument of torture better suited for a horror movie. And remember, keep that receipt handy!
2. Toys That Create Chaos
If you have any compassion for the parents of the child you’re buying for, I implore you to avoid anything that involves glitter. Whether it’s a glitter craft set or a doll that sparkles, glitter is known as the herpes of the art world, and that’s being generous. Once it’s in your home, you’ll find remnants of it for years. I once swore off glitter in my house, yet it still pops up at the most random times. If you think Moon Sand is a good idea, think again. This sticky sand will not only refuse to shape like the commercials promise but will also leave colorful traces throughout your home. If you decide to give it as a gift, be sure to vacate the premises first.
3. Toys That Seem to Be Possessed
There was a time when my friend, Carla, received a toy BBQ that had no off switch. It would come to life whenever someone got too close, with its eyes lighting up and its mechanical mouth shouting BBQ catchphrases. Even after she had tossed it in the trash, the sounds of its grilling would haunt her house for hours. But nothing compares to the horror of gifting a Furby. Remember the movie Gremlins? That’s basically what you’re giving—an adorable creature that morphs into a chaotic monster and can’t be turned off without a full-on battery removal. Plus, good luck understanding its garbled speech!
4. Toys That Amp Up Parental Workload
Before you buy a toy, consider its impact on the child’s parents. Take, for example, the Baby Alive doll, which will require mixing up ghastly baby food, changing diapers, and cleaning the doll to keep it from molding. If I wanted to care for another baby, I’d just have one instead of babysitting a doll! And don’t even get me started on the cost; after the initial diapers run out, guess who’s footing the bill for the replacements? The same goes for the Easy Bake Oven, which only comes with enough batter for two mini cakes, meaning parents will have to spend more on refills than you did on the gift itself. It’s basically like sending them to Chuck E. Cheese with a quarter and saying they’re on their own.
5. Toys That Are Simply Inappropriate
When in doubt about whether a toy is suitable for a child, there’s an easy rule of thumb: If you’re questioning its appropriateness, it’s best to avoid it altogether. Trust your instincts!
Happy shopping, and may your gift-giving be free of chaos!
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Summary
This article outlines the five types of toys that are best avoided when gifting to children, emphasizing the noise-making toys, messy options, and those that increase parental workload and stress. It reminds gift-givers to be mindful of what they choose to ensure a happy holiday season for everyone involved.