Seems simple, right? Well, not quite. I was shocked to discover how often I dismissed others’ feelings until I made a conscious effort to change. Phrases like, “You always enjoy this!” or “Come on, you should be excited!” were my go-tos.
Just yesterday, I had the chance to practice this newfound awareness during a minor, yet potentially explosive situation. With all the snow piling up, I wanted my daughter, Lily, to wear her snow boots to school. But, of course, she was adamant about wearing her sneakers. (Why do kids always fight against wearing the right gear?) I noticed the telltale signs of an impending meltdown, so I had to pivot. Instead of launching into a series of contradictions like, “Those boots aren’t uncomfortable!” I engaged differently:
Lily: “I don’t want to wear those boots. They’re not comfy.”
Me: “It’s really snowy out, so boots are a must, but I get that you’d prefer not to.”
Lily: “I just want to wear my sneakers!”
Me: “You wish you could wear your sneakers instead of those boots.”
Lily: “I don’t want to carry my sneakers in a bag, I just want to wear them.”
Me: “Sounds like you’re really not feeling these boots today! They don’t feel great for the long trek to school.”
And just like that, she slipped on the boots. Seriously!
When people overlook or dismiss my feelings, I find myself repeating my concerns (read: whining), thinking they haven’t been heard. Experts suggest that ignoring negative emotions only amplifies them; recognizing them helps positivity return. In this instance, it appeared to work wonders. Plus, being calm, patient, and understanding is way more enjoyable.
This concept applies to adults too! I recently tackled a big household project (with not a lot of grace, let’s be honest). My partner, Alex, noticed my simmering frustration and, right before I dove into the most daunting part, remarked, “Well, this doesn’t seem too tricky.” Oof! He probably thought he was being supportive, but it only fired me up more. A simple acknowledgment like, “Wow, this looks like a big task; it’s awesome you’re taking it on,” would’ve been much more effective. And who doesn’t appreciate a little praise?
I’ve also noticed that when my feelings are brushed off, I keep nagging about them (hello, whining again). For instance, if Alex isn’t in the mood to chat about my email struggles, I can’t seem to move on until I hear, “Wow, that must be super frustrating.”
For more insightful tips, check out this post on our other blog about home insemination. You can also visit Medical News Today for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re curious about at-home options, the experts at Make A Mom provide a detailed guide on artificial insemination kits.
In summary, acknowledging feelings—whether they’re yours or someone else’s—can diffuse tension and foster positivity. It’s a small yet powerful shift in approach that can make a big difference in relationships.