Recently, a popular magazine showcased the morning routines of 12 successful women, highlighting their serene mornings filled with activities like yoga and gourmet breakfasts. For instance, one woman shared her routine of waking at 4:45 AM to enjoy quinoa cereal before an hour of calming ashtanga yoga. Another recounted a structured morning starting at 6:43 AM, complete with fair-trade coffee and organic muffins.
While these routines exude tranquility and luxury, most moms would likely find their mornings resemble anything but. I gathered a few friends to shed light on their morning chaos, and let’s just say, our mornings are a far cry from those polished profiles.
1. Lila Thompson, Freelance Writer and Mother of Three
6:00 AM: The iPhone alarm buzzes. Choose a vibe of calm and productivity for the day. Just kidding! More like an exasperated groan as I hit snooze and try not to wake the kids.
6:30 AM: Shuffle to the shower. On good days, I manage to shower. Today? Maybe not. Slap on my “What’s on Sale” sweatpants.
7:00 AM: Head downstairs and let the dogs out, only to step in a puddle of their “gifts.” Clean up the mess. Breakfast? Assemble the kids’ gourmet kale smoothies – wait, who am I kidding? It’s cereal and a banana.
7:15 AM: Check backpacks—no extra underwear for the twins. Just a plastic eggplant and an acorn. Sprint upstairs for some undies; I consider this my cardio for the day.
7:30 AM: Wake the twins, dress them, and repeat instructions like a broken record. “Please eat your breakfast!” I say it again, trying to avoid yelling, “YOU HAVE ONE JOB: EAT YOUR CEREAL!”
8:15 AM: Finally wrangle all three kids into their car seats amidst a symphony of whining. Chug down coffee while pondering how I didn’t even get to eat breakfast. Once again, slippers are my footwear of choice. Not exactly a “leader” moment.
2. Mia Carter, New Mom to a Baby
4:30 AM: Baby cries. Insert pacifier, hoping for a few more minutes of peace. It’s like playing whack-a-mole with that thing.
5:00 AM: Feed baby while brainstorming a business idea for a coffee and donut delivery service for new moms. Definitely aiming for a donut myself today.
5:30 AM: Baby’s organic breakfast? Just kidding—I’m diving into my Dunkin’ Donuts sandwich.
6:00 AM: Baby’s wide awake, staring at me. Maybe she wants a donut too? Hand her off to her well-rested dad, who’s enjoying breakfast and scrolling through his notifications.
7:00 AM: Quick shower, listening for screams. Turns out my paranoia is just lack of sleep. Throw on a stained sweatshirt and sweatpants.
7:15 AM: Celebrate getting dressed! Realize the baby is still in her milk-splattered onesie. Pick out some cute skinny jeans for her since clearly, I won’t be fitting into those anytime soon.
7:30 AM: Hubby leaves for work, reminding me of a to-do list I promptly forget because, well, donuts.
8:15 AM: Pack essentials for our thrilling trip from bedroom to living room: pacifiers, diapers, wipes, and of course, my phone charger. Find a leftover donut in the fridge. “Carpe diem!”
3. Sophie, Working Mom and Blogger
6:00 AM: Alarm goes off; hit snooze and snuggle deeper into the covers.
6:30 AM: Alarm again. Time to wake up. I browse Facebook while my husband whips up breakfast.
7:00 AM: Roll out of bed in sweatpants from a college I never attended. My two-year-old and I sit down just as my husband places a plate of eggs in front of her. I try to sneak in some Facebook time while feeding her.
7:15 AM: Convince my toddler to use the bathroom, but she’s too busy complaining about her “big feet.” Finally, I get her to the potty and read “Everyone Poops” for the umpteenth time.
7:20 AM: Attempt to dress her, but she’s rolling around, screaming “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Bribe her with more YouTube videos; it surprisingly works.
7:30 AM: Clothes on! Hand her toothbrush while tackling her hair. She decides to brush everything but her teeth.
7:45 AM: Shoes become a battle. “Too big!” she insists. Another bribe later, she’s in the car, and I blow kisses as they leave. Time for me to log on to work and check off my endless to-do list.
2:30 PM: Finally take a moment for lunch and a shower.
4. Emily, Your Average Housewife
6:00 AM: Kids jump into bed, fighting over who gets to snuggle with Dad first. He escapes to the shower, leaving me to manage the chaos.
6:30 AM: Roll out of bed in my ten-year-old sweatpants with holes. Head downstairs for coffee and breakfast prep—basically whatever sugary cereal is in the pantry.
7:00 AM: Contemplate an ideal morning routine filled with exercise and healthy eating. Then laugh at that thought while cleaning cereal off the floor. Reheat my coffee and grab an Eggo.
7:15 AM: Kids demand different breakfasts. I whip up some smoothies, which they promptly reject. Hand out gummy vitamins instead.
7:30 AM: Tackle the dishes and prepare snacks since breakfast was a bust.
8:00 AM: Get everyone dressed, which involves a mix of dodging, chasing, and a fair amount of negotiation.
8:15 AM: Get myself dressed while sipping cold coffee and mentally countdown to bedtime.
No matter how your mornings unfold, remember you’re not alone. There are plenty of fellow moms out there dreaming of that hot cup of coffee and the luxury of yoga while still rocking those comfy sweatpants and occasional slippers.
For more tips on navigating motherhood, check out our other posts like this one on home insemination or learn about fertility resources at UCSF. Plus, if you’re curious about boosting fertility, visit Make a Mom.
Summary:
This article humorously contrasts the serene morning routines of successful women with the chaotic mornings of everyday moms. From waking up to the sound of crying babies to convincing toddlers to wear clothes, these relatable routines emphasize the shared experiences of motherhood.