It was 7:30 AM when my daughter approached me with a concerned look and asked, “What’s wrong, Mommy? Are you okay?” The reason for her inquiry was pretty clear—I was sprawled on the living room floor, tears streaming down my face as I clutched my fifth cup of coffee. At 7:30 in the morning! While most people were just starting their day, I felt like I had already thrown in the towel.
“Mommy’s just feeling sad, sweetie,” I replied, trying to mask my meltdown.
“Why sad, Mom?” she asked, patting my back with more compassion than I could muster at that moment.
“Because my coffee is all gone,” I told her.
What I was really thinking was, “I’m sad because I’m done. I can’t handle being a mom anymore. I’ve messed up so many times; I’m convinced I’m just a terrible parent. I don’t think I can keep doing this for another day—let alone for a lifetime. This is awful. I’m awful.”
Dramatic? Absolutely. True? Probably not.
In that moment, though, it felt very real. I had a whole list of reasons to believe I was the worst mom ever.
I was crying in front of my kids—definitely not a great role model. I had already yelled at my son about 81 times that morning due to his relentless urge to climb onto the dining room table. I wasn’t sure how many times I could repeat “Stop hitting your brother” before surrendering to chaos.
My kids often eat picnic-style in front of an episode of Curious George because some days, I just can’t face the dinner table struggle. I lock myself in the bathroom for five minutes, pretending to be alone and wishing I could click my heels and escape to my real life because this one feels like a disaster.
My kids don’t eat enough veggies. They consume way too much junk food. They watch too much TV. I’m clueless about how to discipline them effectively. And let’s not even get started on the endless boredom of trying to entertain them all day!
That morning, I truly believed I was the worst mom in the world. However, later that night, while vacuuming up what felt like an entire box of Cheerios, I had a moment of clarity.
I’m not a bad parent. I’m just a normal mom.
Once I stopped drowning in guilt and tears, I began to recall blog posts, stories from friends, and books I once read (before my kids destroyed them). I remembered that:
- Other mothers yell at their kids too.
- Other mothers lie awake at night, plagued by guilt.
- Other mothers serve their kids cereal for dinner and think it’s fine.
- Other mothers have messy homes and sticky floors.
- Other mothers sneak away to the closet for a moment of peace.
- Other mothers struggle to plan fun activities for their toddlers.
- Other mothers are just as desperate for a few extra hours of sleep.
If all these women—friends and strangers alike—are experiencing similar challenges, then it’s not just me. And if we’re all in this together, then…I’m not a bad parent. I’m just normal.
What a relief that was!
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Summary
Motherhood is challenging, and many parents feel overwhelmed and guilty at times. This article highlights the common struggles of parenting and reassures mothers that they’re not alone in their experiences. It’s essential to recognize that feeling inadequate is part of being a normal parent, not a bad one.