As autumn settles in, the holiday season is just around the corner. (I know, it’s almost here, and I apologize in advance.) Luckily, I’ve got a few witty comebacks ready for when your in-laws drop those charmingly awkward comments that can really take a toll on your self-esteem (I picked up that expression from my kid’s ballet instructor last week).
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So, do you ever cook?
Oh, absolutely! I’m a gourmet chef… of cereal! Froot Loops are my specialty, and I hear that pink food has beta carotene. Or maybe that was orange? Either way, the kids love it!
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Have you taken the baby to the doctor for that cough?
Doctor? Oh, you must’ve missed the memo! We’re all about homeopathy now. I think they use some kind of incense? It’s all very… holistic.
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Is that a new couch?
Thanks for noticing! Your son had a bonus at work, and while he wanted to save for the kids’ education, I decided jewelry was more my style. I ended up with a shiny new couch instead. Priorities!
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Have you considered getting our granddaughter assessed for the gifted program?
Honestly, I’m not sure she’s that gifted. But hey, she’s signed up for dance classes! A girl’s got to have options, especially if community college is in her future.
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Are you still working full-time?
Nope! We hit the jackpot in the lottery! But shh, it’s a secret. I just lounge at Starbucks reading US Weekly while the kids call their daycare provider “Mommy.” Oh, and I dabble in Sudoku.
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They should really wear jackets in this weather.
Nah, they need to toughen up for the move to Halifax! Did I forget to mention that?
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You look a bit worn out.
Thanks! That was exactly the vibe I was aiming for. Tired and frumpy! But hey, if you want to comment on my weight gain, the night is still young. Hint hint.
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Is my son getting any downtime?
Honestly? Not really. Between chopping firewood and moving coal around, he’s a busy bee! Plus, I’ve got him giving me pedicures too. So relaxing!
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You really should make the kids behave.
Wow, that’s such a great idea! I was just thinking how adorable it is when they yell and scream. But now that you’ve said it, I’m totally on board. Sometimes it just takes a nudge to see the light!
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When did your parents last come by?
Oh, they never visit. We hang out with you because you’re our favorites! But don’t tell them—I don’t want to break their hearts, especially not about Halifax.
Until next time, I remain, Your Friendly Blog Writer Who Dares You to Use These Comebacks!
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In summary, these playful comebacks can help you handle those pesky questions from in-laws with humor and grace. Prepare yourself for any family gathering, and remember to keep it light-hearted!