As we approach that whimsical holiday known to many as Valentine’s Day, a time filled with a blend of disdain and hope for tokens of affection, I find myself reflecting on the true essence of love. You might dismiss it as merely a contrived Hallmark occasion, saying, “Valentine’s Day isn’t important to me.” Yet the longing for a small gesture—a flower, a chocolate—often surfaces, leading to a cycle of excitement, jealousy, and the inevitable reconciliations that follow minor squabbles.
This year, however, I face Valentine’s Day differently. My partner is far away, as is my mother. Both of our loved ones are off exploring different corners of the globe. For many, such separation could be a source of deep emotional turmoil. However, my upbringing has conditioned me for this. My father was frequently away, absorbed in his work in the film industry during my childhood, leaving me in the capable hands of my mother—one of the most resilient and independent women I know.
This Valentine’s Day, I am choosing to spend time with her. Our plans include ordering Chinese takeout, enjoying a movie, and engaging in heartfelt conversations about life and love. While I may not have the means to buy her jewelry like a traditional partner might, my gratitude and admiration for her run deep. We’ll discuss the profound love that forms through shared experiences, particularly the love that blossoms as we navigate life together.
Consider the love that develops while nurturing a spirited child. It’s the love that compels a mother to endure challenging labor, to advocate for her child at every parent-teacher conference, and to support her child’s passions, no matter how unconventional. This is the kind of unwavering love you witness in a mother who rises at dawn to prepare fresh lunches, driven by the desire to provide what she herself lacked in her own childhood.
This love is not without its challenges. It is marked by moments of intense conflict and profound comfort, as both mother and child often mirror one another. It’s a love where both parties can be completely authentic, knowing they have a steadfast emotional anchor in each other.
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to honor love in all its forms. Every romantic relationship I’ve experienced is rooted in the lessons of unconditional love I observed between my parents. Each celebration of this day serves as a reminder of that first, all-encompassing love that shapes our understanding of connection—through joys and struggles, in health and in sickness.
To my mother, I want to say: I love you deeply, and I remain committed to spending time with you, starting with our Chinese dinner this Saturday night and many evenings beyond.
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In summary, this Valentine’s Day, let us reflect on the profound love that surrounds us, particularly the unconditional love that our mothers provide—a love that shapes our lives and relationships in countless ways.