Parenting
Just last week, my 21-year-old son, Jake, wandered into the kitchen and asked if I could help him brew a cup of coffee. If you’ve ever used one of those modern Keurig machines, you know it’s pretty straightforward. Pop open the lid, drop in a K-cup, choose your cup size, and hit “Brew.” Easy peasy, right?
But he’s my firstborn, the kid who once had a super-young mom eager to lay out his clothes each night, trim his sandwich crusts, and slice his apples into perfectly thin wedges. These days, let’s just say I’m lucky if I remember to buy apples at all!
So, I stifled a chuckle when he asked for help, but as soon as he plopped down with his iPhone, it hit me—he wasn’t really looking for guidance on coffee-making; he wanted me to do it for him.
“Alright,” I said, “you need to walk over to the machine and open it.” I guided him through the entire process, and, like magic, he soon had a steaming cup in hand.
Not long after, my 11-year-old son, Max, strolled into the kitchen and whipped up an omelette. He heated a pan, cracked an egg, tossed in some extra egg whites, and cooked his breakfast while enjoying hot chocolate made in the Keurig. It’s fascinating to see the contrast between my first and fourth child. Max has thrived in the absence of my constant hovering—something that, ironically, might have held Jake back from fully embracing his independence, even though he’s more than capable.
In fact, he proved that when I dropped him off to catch the bus for a summer internship an hour north. This role demanded business-casual attire and a grown-up demeanor. Watching him in the kitchen, pouring a bowl of Reese’s Puffs, took my breath away—it was a reminder that he’s not just my baby anymore.
Of course, there was a fair bit of hand-holding in the days leading up to his first day. We bought him some “big boy” clothes, got his monthly bus pass, and even did a test run to find a commuter lot for parking. Reading the bus schedule was a bit tricky for him, but, hey, he’s never had to tackle anything like this before! His younger siblings have benefitted from his experiences, whether it was learning an instrument or applying to college—he’s paved the way for them.
So, it felt surreal watching him step out of my car and join the crowd waiting for the bus. A part of me wanted to jump out and ensure he was on the right one, but I fought the urge and drove away, his new jacket shrinking in my rearview mirror.
Later, he texted me to let me know he was on the bus and headed to work (thumbs-up emoji). “Thanks for the ride and everything else, Mom (heart emojis),” he wrote. And I knew he meant it. Though we don’t always see eye to eye, he understands I’m always in his corner.
There’s a fine line between being a helicopter parent and simply helping out, and I hope I’m leaning more toward the latter. By the time little Max ventures into the real world in a decade, I have faith there will be less hand-holding since he’ll have seen his older brothers navigate those waters.
But I’m getting ahead of myself! For now, I’m grateful that I still have my little guy around. He’s the one who still hugs me for no reason, belts out Maroon 5 in the shower, and occasionally forgets to use shampoo.
Time flies, doesn’t it? One moment you’re handing your child a Gatorade, and the next, it’s a commuter mug. I know it’s a cliché, but when you’re knee-deep in carpooling and chicken nuggets, it feels like the chaos will never end. Then suddenly, it starts to slow down, and you’re left thinking, “Wait, what just happened?”
All I know is I can’t wait to pick him up from the bus later and hear all about his day at dinner. Sure, he may have swapped his skater clothes for khakis and a dress shirt, but at the end of the day, he’ll always be my little one.
For more on parenting and navigating these transitions, check out this insightful piece on home insemination. Also, if you’re curious about the process of getting started, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. And for a broader understanding of fertility options, this Wikipedia article is a fantastic resource.
Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection, Jessica shares her experience of watching her eldest son, Jake, transition into adulthood as he embarks on a summer internship, contrasting it with her younger son, Max, who benefits from the independence that comes with being the youngest. As she navigates the joys and challenges of parenting, Jessica recognizes the bittersweet nature of watching her children grow up, while also appreciating the moments that still make her heart swell with pride.