A few weeks ago, my partner and I found ourselves navigating the chaos of a school carnival, chasing after our kids amidst the excitement. As the hours dragged on, my patience started to wear thin, and I pulled out my phone for a quick Twitter break. Unfortunately, this moment coincided with an encounter with one of my children’s teachers. She smiled at me, then gently took my phone and whispered, “tsk, tsk,” while gesturing at the kids I was supposed to be watching. I felt my cheeks flush as I shoved my phone into my coat pocket, spending the rest of the day finding distractions that didn’t involve actually engaging with the kids, who were happily oblivious as they played with their friends.
I tried to forget about that awkward moment until I stumbled upon a post titled “Dear Mom on the iPhone.” It begins with a sympathetic tone, addressing a mom sitting on a bench, absorbed in her phone while her kids play nearby. It highlights the precious moments she’s missing while distracted by technology, painting a picture of a mother oblivious to her daughter’s joy as she spins in her dress or the baby cooing in the swing. The post critiques the mother for being self-absorbed, suggesting that she should be savoring every moment instead of scrolling through her phone.
But let me be clear: I am that mom on her phone at the park. Whether it’s at a birthday party, sports practice, or an indoor play zone, my iPhone often entertains me while my kids are happily occupied. And contrary to what some may think, this doesn’t make me a bad parent; in fact, it may even enhance my parenting. Taking a moment to scroll through social media helps me regain my composure and perspective, much like a calming breath in the middle of chaos. The laughter shared with friends online during a parenting mishap can be far more uplifting than the stress of the moment itself.
As someone who works from home, I’m grateful for the flexibility to drop my kids off at school and pick them up in the afternoon. If responding to emails or handling work matters on my phone while my children are entertained is what it takes, then so be it. After all, wouldn’t it be more detrimental to be stuck in a traditional job, missing out on precious moments with my kids? Plus, using my phone at the park or during sports practice means I’m less likely to be glued to it when we’re at home together.
And let’s be honest—sometimes I’m on my phone to avoid interactions with judgmental parents who, if not critiquing my screen time, will surely find something else to disapprove of. I don’t claim to be a perfect mother; I have moments of brilliance and times when I feel completely overwhelmed. My priorities are simple: I want my children to feel loved and for my positive moments to outnumber the regrets. The idea of being present 24/7 is unrealistic and wouldn’t truly benefit my kids or me.
A fleeting snapshot of me at the park or restaurant doesn’t define my parenting journey. It’s laughable to judge based on a single moment. Just like it would be unreasonable to expect to keep my eyes on my kids bouncing around in a bounce zone for hours on end.
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In summary, being a parent in today’s world comes with its challenges, and sometimes, that means taking a moment for ourselves—even if it means using our phones. We can strive for balance without being perfect, and that’s what truly matters in the end.
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