Alright, so it was just two husbands involved, and yes, one of them happened to be mine. And let’s not forget the several glasses of white wine and a few cocktails that were definitely in the mix. Despite the potential for bias, this highly reputable—if anecdotal—research boasts some intriguing findings that might just be published in a peer-reviewed online journal. You might even be reading it right now.
The Study
The husbands in our little study were first asked three straightforward yes or no questions:
- Was it wrong for Jason to use a belt to discipline his 4-year-old?
- Should the NFL have taken quicker action against the video of Mike hitting his girlfriend in the elevator?
- Was it inappropriate for hackers to leak private photos of celebrities like Emma Stone and Scarlett Johansson?
After a couple of drinks, the answers were a resounding 1) Yes, 2) Yes, and 3) Yes.
At first, the wives were thrilled with the responses, but follow-up questions turned the results upside down. When asked if their strong feelings would change their NFL viewing habits or involvement in fantasy football, the husbands shouted a loud and somewhat embarrassing “No way!”
The responses to the photo scandal were even more shocking. Every participant agreed, “The women whose pictures were stolen were violated.” This was encouraging for the researchers. However, when asked if they had viewed the photos, only half said “Yes.” The other half initially declared “No,” but then backtracked, claiming, “I tried to, but they were taken down.”
When one researcher challenged this excuse, arguing that clicking the link was essentially condoning the act, the husband laughed it off dismissively. Thankfully, he wasn’t married to that particular researcher, which likely helped keep the peace at home. (The second husband’s retort, “Dude, you’re the one getting all the flack, but I got to see the pictures!” definitely stirred up some tension at home, though.)
Conclusions and Implications
Researchers are now left scratching their heads. The data indicates that even “good” men can casually overlook unacceptable behavior, especially when it comes to their fantasy football standings. But does this imply a troubling inner conflict and questionable values? If so, how does it contradict the otherwise solid moral framework established before they had kids and co-signed mortgages? How can a researcher remain married to a generally respectful guy who would rather endure a root canal than harm another person yet seems willing to excuse others’ wrongdoings?
Of course, these findings don’t account for other mitigating factors, like the current NFL standings or opinions on dance scenes in popular films. Researchers remain hopeful that through persistent Sunday afternoon discussions, probing questions like “What if that were your sister—not that it should even matter!” and reiterating their disappointment, they can help the husbands develop a more appropriate sense of outrage and empathy. Or maybe not. More research is definitely needed.
Photo: Getty Images Sport/Rob Carr
This article was originally published on Oct. 2, 2014.
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Summary
This humorous examination of anecdotal research involving tipsy husbands reveals surprising insights into their moral compass regarding sensitive topics such as child discipline, domestic violence, and privacy violations. While their initial responses seem commendable, deeper questions reveal a troubling tendency to overlook unacceptable behavior when personal interests are at stake.