As summer approaches, bringing with it the sun and the scent of sunscreen, I’ve been spending some time at local pools in Boulder. I can’t help but be intrigued by the dynamics between moms and their kids as I watch from the sidelines. Here’s a light-hearted look at the different types of moms you might come across at the pool:
- The Regulars: These moms own the pool, and you’re just a visitor in their domain. They arrive in small packs, setting up their matching chairs and stylish towels in the best spots, while eyeing newcomers with a hint of suspicion. You can spot them easily by their coordinated snacks, while you’re over there with your mismatched towels and kids smeared in chocolate.
- The Nannies (or “Au Pairs” for the fancy folks): They often look just as worn out as any mom. One nanny shared that she has a “script” to use with the kids, which sounded more robotic than heartfelt. Meanwhile, the little girl in her care was busy channeling her inner Lord of the Flies, pushing kids off the slide without a care in the world.
- The Fun Mom: The bane of our existence. She’s the one who makes us feel inadequate, tickling her child down the slide and allowing them to ride on her back like a human surfboard. She brings swim noodles and engages in games of tag with pure enthusiasm. Her kids strut around like they’ve achieved a great cosmic victory just by being related to her.
- The Phone Moms: Some moms seem glued to their phones, completely unaware of the chaos unfolding around them. While their kid is busy turning your child into a floaty or attempting a daring climb up the slide backwards, Phone Mom is blissfully scrolling through social media, oblivious to the snack thefts happening right next to her.
- The Toddler plus New Baby Desperation Mom: This mom juggles a sleeping infant on the side while her toddler runs amok like a tiny tornado. She’s just trying to keep it together, sometimes even nodding off while sitting in the shallow end—only to be jolted awake by a rogue swim noodle to the face.
- The Perfect Mom: Ugh, why is she so flawless? With a body that looks like it belongs on a magazine cover, she’s the kind of mom who makes you reconsider your life choices. Her kids look pristine, as if they’ve just stepped out of a luxury spa, while you’re just trying to survive the day.
- The Mom Looking for a Friend, Any Friend: You can spot her trying to make connections, sharing stories about their kids’ shenanigans. It’s like a playdate speed-dating session, where they swap tales of daring jumps and dinner-time meltdowns, all while reminding their children that eyes are not for poking.
- The Hippie Mom: With her homemade organic snacks and children named after virtues, she radiates peace. Even when chaos reigns, she stays chill, encouraging her little ones to embrace their inner zen. Don’t be surprised if her child requests a sip of milk right from her while lounging poolside.
- The Grandma: Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between grandmas and moms in Boulder, especially since many grandmas look fantastic in their two-pieces! They seem to genuinely enjoy the time spent with their grandkids, celebrating every splash and snack with enthusiasm and an abundance of cookies.
- The Discipline Mom: She’s all about rules—no pushing, no sliding out of turn, and definitely no nose-blowing in the pool (thanks, kid!). While she enforces her many rules and doles out time-outs, I can’t help but think that a little splash here and there never hurt anyone.
I’ve found myself fitting into various mom categories over the years, depending on my energy levels and how much sleep I’ve managed to grab. Well, except for Perfect Mom—I think we all know she’s hiding a wild side somewhere!
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In summary, the pool is a microcosm of motherhood, filled with diverse personalities, each navigating the joys and challenges of summer fun. Whether you find yourself as the Fun Mom or the Discipline Mom, it’s all part of the wild ride that comes with parenting.