A Guide to Identifying Sanctimommies

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Sanctimommy, Noun
A self-satisfied, often condescending individual who showcases their parenting style through subtle digs at others, highlighting their perceived shortcomings.
Synonyms: Know-it-all, Fun Sponge, Judgmental Parent, Overachiever.

Physical Characteristics

While Sanctimommies come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds, they do share some common gestures that make them easier to spot:

  1. Raised eyebrows of disapproval
  2. Pursed lips signaling judgment
  3. Pointing fingers aimed at others
  4. Loud sighs of exasperation
  5. Tightly clenched buttocks (because who wouldn’t be tense?).

Common Environments

Sanctimommies thrive in various settings where they can dispense their unsolicited advice and critique others:

  1. Parks
  2. Playgroups
  3. Grocery stores
  4. Target (both in the aisles and parking lot)
  5. Parenting websites (especially those with comment sections!)
  6. Social media platforms like Facebook
  7. Daycares
  8. Schools (particularly during drop-offs, pick-ups, and events)
  9. Birthday celebrations.

Social Interactions

These individuals are drawn to the spotlight of social gatherings, often steering conversations to center around their own experiences. Here are a few telltale phrases you might hear from a Sanctimommy:

  1. “You should feel SO GRATEFUL.”
  2. “My kids would never behave like that.”
  3. “I didn’t bother reading that; it’s just nonsense.”
  4. “I’ve never dealt with this, it’s ridiculous.”
  5. “Ugh, this is just absurd.”

Trigger Topics

Certain subjects can set off a Sanctimommy, prompting them to inject their own parenting philosophies into the discussion, such as:

  1. Any online parenting discussion
  2. Vaccines, organic diets, screen time, or sleep training
  3. Acknowledging the tiredness of parenting
  4. Hiring a babysitter
  5. Nostalgia for pre-parenting freedom
  6. Suggesting that maybe life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
  7. Mentioning it’s 2 p.m. – can we have wine yet?
  8. Humor in parenting situations
  9. Parenting without a well-documented philosophy
  10. Sharing humorous parenting e-cards on social media.

Warning

Avoid direct confrontation with a Sanctimommy. While they’re not physically threatening, their reactions can be highly unpredictable. Signs of agitation include self-pity, preachiness, excessive use of ALL CAPS, and the tendency to reference celebrities in poorly constructed arguments.

This guide serves as a lighthearted look at a not-so-lighthearted phenomenon in the parenting world. If you’re seeking more on this topic, check out our post on home insemination for a different perspective on family building. And if you’re curious about resources for pregnancy and home insemination, MedlinePlus has excellent information.

In summary, spotting a Sanctimommy can be as easy as recognizing common gestures and phrases that reflect their self-satisfied nature. While their presence can be overwhelming, understanding their triggers and environments may help you navigate interactions more smoothly.

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