Did you think your days of dating were long behind you once you found your soulmate? Well, think again! When it comes to reaching “third base” with your mom friend, prepare yourself for a whole new level of intimacy—one that’s decidedly less romantic and a lot more… real.
So, you’ve made it to third base. This is where the fun really begins! It’s not for the faint of heart or for those who pretend to have everything under control. Your kids will be your biggest critics, ready to reveal all your parenting quirks before you can even say, “Welcome to my home!” When you’re on third base, your little ones are in their element, displaying their true colors—and trust me, it can be a wild ride.
Let me share a recent escapade I had that perfectly encapsulates this experience. Things were going surprisingly well until my friend’s 3-year-old had a little accident upstairs, completely utilizing the entire roll of toilet paper. As she strolled out, blissfully ignoring the hand-washing requirement, I walked into a rapidly rising tide of toddler-sized floaters. My first instinct? I turned right around and walked out, acting as if I had no clue what was happening.
Just as I thought it couldn’t get worse, my own little one was wailing from the downstairs bathroom. Entering that scene was like stepping into a horror movie; the stench hit me like a ton of bricks. My daughter had turned the potty into her personal art canvas, smearing “paint” everywhere. I could only choke out a frantic, “How?!?” as I tried to clean up the disaster while she washed her hands. I tossed her messy outfit in the trash without a second thought—who has time for that kind of cleanup when your friend is just upstairs on your couch?
After scrubbing the toilet, the tile, and everything in between, I managed to get my daughter into a quick bath. With a fresh outfit and a good rinse, I returned to the couch as if nothing had happened, chatting with my friend about our daily lives. Little did she know that my usual day might involve navigating these kinds of “adventures” every so often.
Then, amidst the chaos, my husband emerged from the now-clogged bathroom, a true hero for handling the situation without my friend catching wind of it—until now, that is!
Once my friend and her brood left, another pal came over with her crew, and you might be wondering what kind of mom-dating Casanova I am. But hey, my charm and toilet humor draw them in! Not long after, she returned from the bathroom to share that she almost sat in a mess herself. Apparently, my second child had contributed to the chaos, or perhaps Clogger Girl left a little souvenir behind. At this point, embarrassment was futile; I tried and failed to die of it right then and there.
The next day, I discovered dried remnants on our banister, a fitting testament to the adventures of third base. Not every visit is this chaotic, and not everyone has friends coming in and out of their home like they’re at Central Station, but this is the reality of third base—messy, unpredictable, and undeniably real.
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Summary: Reaching third base with your mom friend involves navigating the hilariously chaotic realities of parenting. From potty disasters to unexpected messes, it’s all part of the fun. Just remember, it’s all about embracing the wild ride!