The Joys of Raising a Tween Boy

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This summer will forever be etched in my mind as the season I officially embraced life with a tween boy. One moment, my son was surrounded by an army of stuffed animals (or so it felt), and the next, he was sprawled on his bed, earbuds in, engrossed in a YouTube video about Minecraft — a stark contrast to the cuddly childhood I once knew. (And yes, his beloved stuffed dog, Sparky, is still around; he’s just not front and center anymore.) The change happened in the blink of an eye.

While he’s always had a knack for dramatic eyerolls and clever (though often frustrating) retorts, my tween has truly upped his game since turning 11. There have been several moments of sheer panic as I realize we’re on the cusp of full-blown teenagehood. The train is speeding towards me, and I can hear the whistle — and it definitely has an attitude.

Despite the challenges, I’m focusing on the positives of having a tween in the house. With a 9-year-old who still believes in magic, a mischievous almost-6-year-old, and a toddler with strong opinions, I can clearly see both the good and the not-so-great aspects of my eldest son’s new phase. Here are some truly awesome things about having a tween boy:

1. Shared Understanding of Privacy: While I still grapple with the lack of personal space and can’t quite manage to use the bathroom alone, my tween gets it. He finds it utterly mortifying to see me without clothes, and thankfully keeps his distance whenever he suspects it might happen. If he accidentally catches a glimpse, he covers his eyes and yelps — but I appreciate the effort.
2. Sleep Patterns That Make Sense: Finally, we are on the same page regarding sleep. I could never fathom why small children resist bedtime but are up at the crack of dawn. My tween, however, relishes sleeping in and reading late into the night. Logical behavior at last!
3. Self-Sufficiency: Gone are the days of diapers and constant supervision. He can shower (hopefully), make himself a snack, and even operate the microwave. He can dress himself and swim like a pro. It feels like a weight has been lifted — now if only he could learn how to match his clothes!
4. Quiet Moments: Sure, he still has his moments of whining and sulking, but overall, he’s quieter than the younger boys. Mostly, he’s lost in his world with earbuds in, and I’ll gladly take that trade.
5. Witty Humor: His sense of humor has blossomed, and he genuinely makes me laugh. He understands irony and has a quick wit. Just this week, as he watched his brothers rush to the kiddie pool, he smirked and said, “I wonder if they know why it’s warm?” I love having his perspective around.
6. Reliable Help: I can now count on him to carry grocery bags, help with baby gear, and even manage his luggage at the airport. It’s like having a second pair of hands — if those hands occasionally complain about being my “servant.”
7. Musical Taste: In the battle of music in the car, he’s on my side. He prefers Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5 to yet another viewing of the same animated movie. Win for me!
8. Potty Training Mastery: Enough said.
9. Sweet Moments: Occasionally, he surprises me with heartfelt sentiments that are all the more precious because they’re rare. After dropping him off at summer camp, he hugged me and whispered, “I’m going to miss you,” then sweetly told his little sister, “Don’t grow up too fast.” I almost melted into a puddle!
10. Adventurous Palate: He’s starting to appreciate adult food, even ordering salads at meals. While he still has some food quirks, he’s more willing to try new things — which gives me hope that he won’t always default to fast food on dates in the future.

As I navigate this transitional phase with my son, I realize that we’re in a sweet spot. He’s no longer the unreasonable toddler, yet not quite the challenging teenager. This moment is enjoyable — he’s old enough to be a fun companion, but still young enough to be my little boy. While I brace myself for the inevitable eye rolls and stubbornness that will come with the teen years, I’m choosing to savor this time. I never imagined who he’d become when he was just a baby or even a toddler. It’s a good place to be, even if it’s only temporary.

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In summary, raising a tween boy has its challenges, but the rewards are plentiful. I’m embracing this moment as a unique and fleeting opportunity to bond with my son before he fully enters the teenage years.