Updated: Jan. 19, 2016
Originally Published: March 13, 2014
I feel incredibly fortunate to have a husband who excels at being a dad. Not only does this benefit me, but it’s also fantastic for our kids, considering he’s likely to outlive me. Curious why? Here are some amusing insights:
1. He’s Not the Keeper of All Things
Every day, my children hand me a delightful assortment of “treasures” to hold: half-eaten lollipops, tiny toys from that germ-infested wonderland known as Chuck E. Cheese, and my daughter’s latest fascination—rubber bands she’s scavenged from the sidewalk. This constant juggling act, despite my vitamin C overload, leaves me perpetually fighting off colds. Fun fact: my doctor once told me I was the only patient over 5 to come down with double pink eye in 2013!
2. Selective Hearing Skills
Okay, my husband isn’t actually deaf, but he’s mastered the art of selective hearing. Whenever our kids call out for water, it’s always “Mom!” that they summon. Consequently, my husband avoids the impending madness of hearing “DAD” on repeat. I, on the other hand, can already envision my future self as a blue-haired lady muttering “MomMomMomMommyMommyMammaMamaMomMomMOMMY!!!” at the bus stop in 35 years.
3. Sleeps Like a Log
This might be related to his selective hearing. While I lie awake listening for every little cough, sigh, and noise from the kids—even from another floor—he snoozes peacefully. He knows I’ll be the one to tackle everything from a request for an extra blanket to the more serious emergencies—like the time I had to wake him to let him know we were off to the ER because our son was in severe pain. From now on, we should really say “sleeping like a dad” instead of “sleeping like a baby.”
4. Emergency Contact? That’s Me!
As the primary emergency contact for school, all the delightful calls come my way—ranging from “Are your kids bus or pickup today?” to the dreaded “This is the school nurse…” or “We need to discuss your son’s behavior at recess.” Seeing that number pop up gives me instant heart palpitations and a sudden urge to call for reinforcements.
5. He Outsmarted Me on Kid Duties
I’m not sure how, but my husband successfully dodged the dreaded trifecta of sunscreen application, nail-clipping, and thank-you note supervision. The tears these tasks have generated could fill a swimming pool! Spoiler alert: the kids don’t particularly enjoy them either.
6. He Understands Their Abilities
My husband recognizes that our kids have opposable thumbs and can reach most countertops. He knows they can whip up a sandwich when hungry, brush their teeth eventually, and wait a few minutes for him to help them find the remote batteries. This contrasts sharply with my overbearing need to micromanage their lives, a talent I truly envy in him. If I could learn to adopt his laid-back approach, who knows? I might just live long enough to be that quirky old lady at the bus stop!
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In summary, while I may be juggling all the kid-related tasks, my husband’s chill demeanor, selective hearing, and sound sleep habits are likely to keep him around longer.